9/11: Around The Blogosphere

Remembering the Day

• For Thou Art With Us — Sarah Bunting @ TomatoNation.com was there.
  

  We come up the rise to the corner where a crowd of people has gathered, all looking up, and the towers come into view — the south tower closer to us and to the left. “Ohhh, man,” we both say, and “Jeeeesus Christ,” and “This is not good. This is not good at all. This is fuckin’ bad.” So dumb. So dull. We sound like frat boys when the keg is dry, but there’s nothing else we can say about what we’ve got in front of us. In front of us, high above us, the south tower has a huge hole torn through it, a burning, screaming maw with thick black smoke pouring out. Occasionally, flames lick up one corner of the twisted mouth of the hole and then retreat, only to reappear on the other side. It doesn’t seem real. It doesn’t even seem that serious at first, actually, until I remember just how big the building is, how many stories high — and that the hole must therefore cover twelve stories, at least. “This isn’t the kind of history I want to be present at,” I say, lamely, to Bob. “Me neither,” he says.

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I Really Can’t Go Home Again

For the last four days between the crying and the about to crying, I have tried to find the words to explain exactly how I feel about the destruction of New Orleans. To be honest, I can’t bear another picture of my childhood home underwater, destroyed, devestated. It’s like I’ve lost a best friend and the grief overwhelms me.

Leaving New Orleans in March 2004 was one of the hardest thinks I’d ever done. It was pretty much my home from the time I was six years old with the exception of four years at the University of Alabama, and as much as my ex JB wanted to get out of that city for all of it’s crime and darkness, I loved New Orleans for it’s personality and it’s culture and it’s life. Sure it was dirty and sure there were drive through bars; sure Mardi Gras had deteriorated into one big festival of drunks, but there was also the odd feeling that despite the number of people living there, New Orleans and Metairie and Kenner and the surrounding towns and cities were actually a small Catholic town and it kind of had that feel to those of us who saw it for what it was. Not to mention the charm and the surprises, the art and the music, the food and the history.

And though as a native I may have turned my nose up at touristy things from time to time, I was never sorry if someone dragged me to a museum or an old plantation or the French Quarter.

New Orleans had become a part of me as much as my family and my friends by the time I left in 2004 and I hated leaving it behind as much as I hated leaving my friends.

But the thing about leaving people behind is that many times there are plans and dreams to visit again and I had planned and dreamt of returning to New Orleans someday, though admittedly I’ve been drifting from my old friends there.

With the destruction of New Orleans by Katrina, it’ll never be the same, even if they rebuild. It’s like one of my best friends’ have died and the grief…it’s overwhelming. It’s that kind of world-ending grief where you can’t understand how the world can go on around you with it’s day to day things as if nothing has changed. It’s that grief that leaves you lonely in a crowded room and angry at the person laughing at some trivial funny thing that was said. It’s that grief that leaves you feeling helpless and wondering if life really can go on.

And, yes, I realize that I’m among the lucky. My parents no longer live there; I no longer live there. I have not lost my home and my belongs or my life because of Katrina. I still have a place to go to work. And I do know it’s not “all about me”, but that doesn’t change how I feel or my right to feel it.

Tags: Hurricane Katrina, New Orleans, tragedy, depression

Discombobulated Thoughts

Well, the final news on my friend who’s house burned down is that indeed only one pet survived. The thought is that one of the cats knocked over a new heater in the basement and that started the fire. They are currently living in a hotel and the rescued dog is staying with family. The dog was rescued by a man who wasn’t supposed to be in that neighborhood until Monday but got ahead in his work and stopped by her neighbor’s house for some consult work. He knew there were other pets and the dog was trying to tell him where they were but the fire was so bad at that point that if he’d gone in after them, he and the dog and the other pets would all be gone.

She seems to be taking each day as it comes. Some days are better than others. Some days she’s laughing about some of the little things and others she’s just sad and mad. She told me that the family photos were in a Rubbermaid container in a closet and were miraculously spared, which is one of those irreplacable things you’d hate to lose in a fire. She is thankful no one was home. They have decided not to use Red Cross’s assistance because they feel there are not needy enough and there are plenty of people who need that kind of help more.

***The happy news from the weekend from hell, that started with Friday morning’s events and trickled through the weekend, is that PW now has a new boyfriend who will forever be referred to here as English as he is from England. For someone who was dead set against having another long distance relationship, she certainly picked someone quite a distance away. :p But I guess you can’t help chemistry.Apparently, they’ve known each other for years online and he has now been to visit her 3x and he sent her flowers for her birthday and was really sweet to her when she was sick during his last visit. He’s older than her which was one of her requirements for a new beau as her exhusband was quite younger than her and very childish. She said it was nice to spend time with someone who could have grown up conversations about politics, the state of the world, and the like.I hope it works out for them. I’d like to see her happy, even if she did rudely say that she didn’t think she’d find someone else since she was getting too old and she’s only 3 years younger than me.
***I’m really tired of all this “red state”/”blue state” crap. The truth is that it was a close race in every state. 49% of the people did not vote for Bush and that’s almost half. There were no states that were landslides and I’m tired of the bickering about it. The truth is that this country is pretty evenly divided and we should just respect we have differences of opinions.I’m also tired of the accusations, that if you don’t think Rice or Gonzales are appropriate choices for their new positions in the Bush administration, then you must be a racist. What a sweeping generalization! Sometimes it’s really all about their experience, their skills, the mistakes they’ve made, or their successes. It’s not always about race and I resent that the race card keeps getting played by both parties. ***I’ve sent a few emails to Meg but haven’t heard back. I don’t know why I bother to try to rebuild the friendship and keep contact. Obviously, it’s not important to her. I just got confused by the Christmas present which seemed so thoughtful. ***I slipped on the ice today. You can’t technically call it a fall because my butt didn’t hit the ground, but my right ankle and my left leg from just above the knee down has lingering pain and soreness. It helps to distract me a little from the migraine I’ve been fighting.

Tags: discombobulated, tragedy, politics, dysfunctional drama, wellness

One Really Bad Day

So, the story begins this morning when I awoke to find that a power outage had messed up my alarm. I soon found out that it didn’t really matter that I had overslept because the hip-high snow outside had blockaded me into my apartment. I was unable to open the storm door to get out. In fact, I couldn’t leave by the backdoor because the weight of the snow had brought down a tree in my “backyard” (read: woods).

I also quickly discovered I could not email work to let them know I was going to be late because the internet connection was down. My digital phone goes through the same modem and my cel phone has been dead for a week because I can’t find the power charger.

So, I took my time getting dressed, took pictures of the downed snow-covered tree in my back yard and my snow covered Jeep from my windows, and began making my lunch.

When the guy with the snowblower came and finally rescued me, I donned my winter-wear and headed out to free my Jeep. An hour and four people later, my Jeep was free from the snow and backed into a plowed area. Mind you, by this time I had fallen into a snowbank and was so wet that there is ice in my parka pockets and the change there was frozen together. Also, I was suffering from a caffiene withdrawl headache and had not yet had breakfast.

Despite all of that, I set off an hour late for work. I was going 25mph on 295 southbound when suddenly I was facing north on 295 southbound and two lanes of cars were stopped and facing me. What amazed me were the people who stopped and then were in such a hurry that they drove around me rather than let me get out of the way.

I did finally make it to work, walked in the door and announced that I was ready to go home.

But that’s not the end of it.

It turns out that sometime yesterday the communications people screwed up my pager and I wasn’t getting pages, despite being on call and having been paged with an emergency which luckily Fred answered by accident. This took hours and three people to fix.

My work email is screwed up and I didn’t get important email on several other issues that needed to be resolved in a timely manner.

In other bad news, MD’s brother-in-law was painting MD’s hall when the ceiling fell in on him and a co-worker’s wife was taken to the ER after a snow-related car accident.

And as I was telling my mother about my horrible day, she informed me that my gramma that lives with them fell and busted up her eye, while my gramma in Ohio is in the hospital with pneumonia.

But that’s not even the worst of it.

My cube-neighbor’s house burnt down this morning. Only one of her nine pets made it out and she lost everything but her sewing machine, apparently. All I can think about is how she’s lost everything and how devestated she must feel. The loss of the pets just makes me sick.
I came home and hugged both cats and told them how much I love them and would miss them if they weren’t in my life.

Please keep her family in your thoughts and/or prayers and remember that no matter what happens, even if you’re going the wrong way on the interstate by accident, it could be worse.

Tags: tragedy, snow storm, fire