March 31st, 2006
Well, I had my second Botox treatment last week. I meant to blog about it then, but with all the problems with my web host, it got lost in the shuffle.
I handled it somewhat better. No passing out this time. However, knowing about the 22 shots and what was coming was worse, I think. I felt very ill the whole time, very light-headed. It wasn’t nearly as interesting an experience. I did keep trying to focus on my happy thought, which happened to be Pugly since I was going to go see him immediately after. 
The good news is that I kind of think that the Topomax in combination with the Botox is working. The bad news is that my insurance, Anthem, will not be covering my Botox treatment anymore after July 1rst. That little tiny vial which only contains an even tinier amount of toxin currently only costs me a $30 co-pay every few months, but it would cost $600 without the insurance. Mind you, Botox is the treatment of last resort for migraine sufferers; it’s the option doctors take when medications don’t work. This is not something I want to inject into my body. Heck, I don’t even like taking medications. Every time I get to drop a medication from my daily list, I’m ecstatic. I used to be one of those people who was into the whole all-natural lifestyle idea.
So, I guess I’m upset that I pay for insurance that repeatedly thinks it’s not cost effective to treat my conditions. I understand that I’m the expensive end of the gamble, but maybe the guy across from my cubicle never goes to the doctor. I don’t smoke. I don’t drink. I’ve never done illegal drugs. There’s no risk of pregnancy or STDs. All I ask is that I get what I pay for, which is often more than my co-pay.
I’m tired of someone deciding whether or not my daily agony fits on his bottom line.
Tags: botox, topomax, migraine, health insurance
March 7th, 2006
So, I think the topomax is actually working. I’m on my second week and I’ve only had one migraine and that was actually due to two days of bad sleep due to no ambien due to ran out. Though, admittedly, I had initial success with topomax when they tried me on it years ago. Let’s just hope the botox/topomax combo is the magic combo.
The only problem with the topomax is the random numbness it causes in my face, fingers, hands and feet. It’s not really a problem so much as a weirdness. It’s a little distracting and there’s no rhyme or reason to it. It’s kind of like that weird tingling just right before some part of you completely “wakes up” from being numb after laying on it wrong. I suppose this is better than brain-melting-wanna-die-pain so I’ll take it.
I’m also less depressed than last week which is a good thing. Had my session with my shrink last night. She wants me to do another 10 week therapy group; this one on cognative thought therapy. I’ve been interested in this kind of therapy for a bit so I’m a bit excited about it. I think it’ll be helpful so I’m going to do it.
We talked a little bit about just how depressed I was last week. Her concern of course is always whether or not I’m depressed enough to hurt myself. I confessed to her that my mother is always worried about that too and sometimes she tells me that in words and she did this past weekend, but the truth is that I have a very vivid memory of after my cousin killed himself, my mother begged me to promise her never to let it get that bad and never to kill myself like that. I guess I just couldn’t put my mother through that. Which I guess is ironic since my family has such strong pro-assisted suicide views. Huh.
Anyway, I am better this week. I’ve got a new cause — I’m going to be organizing fundraisers for the New Orleans Public Library here in Maine though I’m not quite sure how to go about it yet. I’ve got a new movie buddy. I’ve got a new therapy group. I think I might look into getting a military pen pal (and, yes, keep politics out of it).
So, making plans. Sounds kind of optimistic.
Tags: topomax, wellness, migraine, depression, suicide, therapy, botox
February 25th, 2006
Well, I had a chat with the neurologist’ nurse practitioner this week. I explained that I was still having bad headaches 3 out of 4 days and that I’d had really bad migraines about once a week for several days sinc the botox treatment. She had a different opinion than I did; she seems to think that this is an improvement for me and that it’s worth trying a second treatment.
Of course, since it didn’t help me more, we’re going to try a preventative medication in addition to the botox with the idea that the botox helps enough to allow the preventative to make a difference. I’ve got a new prescription of Topomax, which I’ve tried before with initial success, that I will be starting on 25mg and stepping up each week until I get to 100mg about the time of the second botox treatment.
Unfortunately if this doesn’t work, she was quite clear that there is nothing else they can do for me. This is my last hope from the medical world. Not a pleasant thought — that I will be in pain every day the rest of my life. Makes me want to cry actually.
Tags: botox, migraine, topomax
