Thursday Thirteen Things To Worry About (#13)

I’m a worry-wart. I worry about all kinds of things and I can’t turn it off. I worry about whether or not my cats hate me. I worry about whether or not my co-workers are talking about me. I worry about whether or not the world is going to blow up today or if my house is going to burn down or if my headache means I’m getting a brain tumor.

I’m in therapy. At least I’m trying to get a grip, but it turns out that there are a lot of people who worry about a lot of things out there. Some things are worried about far more than they need to be and some things aren’t worried about enough. That’s what this week’s theme is.

Thirteen Things about N. Mallory

1. Don’t worry so much about getting a brain tumor. Apparently there’s less than a 1% chance that you’ll develop a cancer originating in your brain. If you must worry about cancer, worry about lung cancer; it’s the leading cancer killer of women. (Check out cancer.gov)
2. Don’t worry so much about being in a plane crash. As big a deal as I make of it here, the fact is that as few as 18 people died for every 41.7 million who flew on U.S. air carriers last year. The truth is that most people’s fear of flying stems from a fear of lack of control (like mine). The odds of you dying in an automobile accident are one in 237 over your lifetime, compared with one in 1.25 million over your lifetime for a commercial plane crash, according to the National Safety Council in Itasca, Illinois.
3. Don’t worry so much about having a miscarriage. One out of five pregnancies that is confirmed in a doctor’s office ends in miscarriage. Most miscarriages occur because of chromosomal abnormalities in the fetus and not because of something the mother ate, drank, or did.
4. Don’t worry so much about having bad breath. Only about one in seven people suffers from chronic halitosis. You wouldn’t know it from the gum, mint and breath freshener advertisers. Apparently the advertisers are winning because up to 1/3rd of the patients who see their doctor about chronic bad breath don’t have it.
5. Worry a little about being in a car crash. Motor vehicle accidents are the number-one cause of accidental death for women and the number-one killer of women under the age of 35. (whew! Just missed me!) Each year, 40,000 Americans die on the road. In fact, fear of vehicular death is unbelievably low in this country because Americans are familiar with cars and think they’re “in control” — so “in control” that one in five Americans still don’t wear a seat belt.
6. Worry a little about becoming disabled. One third of all Americans between 35 and 65 will become disabled for more than 90 days, according to the American Council of Life Insurers in Washington, D.C. A 20-year-old worker’s chances of becoming disabled are approximately twice as great as her chances of dying before retirement age, yet only 28 percent participate in group long-term benefits. (My mother was surprised to learn that I always carry both short-term and long-term insurance in case something happens to my hands or arms. Can’t imagine what a programmer would do without them.)
7. Worry a little about getting breast cancer. One in 13 American women will be diagnosed with breast cancer (one in eight if their mom or sister has the disease). It is the second-leading cause of cancer death in U.S. women, after lung cancer. But 94% of new cases of breast cancer are in women age 40 or older. My grandmother and great-grandmother both had breast cancer. I’m not waiting for my mother. If breast cancer runs in your family, find a doctor who will begin regular mammograms as early as 30 or 35. (To learn more, go to BreastCancer.org)
8. Worry a little about contracting diabetes. Diabetes is the fifth deadliest disease in America. The death rate due to diabetes has increased by 45 percent since 1987, due to the rise in type 2, the kind traditionally developed later in life — only more and more kids are getting it now. It’s also the leading cause of blindness, amputation and dialysis, and increases a person’s risk for heart disease.
9. Worry a little about going blind. An estimated one in 200 Americans is legally blind. Sixty-seven percent of blind Americans are female, mostly because women live longer, but other factors, such as genetics, sex hormones, and lifestyle differences, may put women at increased risk.
10. Be very afraid of getting skin cancer. Cancer of the skin is the most common cancer. One in five Americans will develop skin cancer, including nonmelanoma cancers, which are more common and rarely fatal, and melanoma, which accounts for the majority of skin cancer deaths. The rate of nonmelanoma cancers, including basal cell and squamous cell varieties, has nearly tripled in women under 40 in the past 30 years.
11. Be very afraid of contracting an STD. Your lifetime chance of getting an STD is greater than one in two. How scary is that? Made me cross my legs when I read it.
12. Be very afraid of having a heart attack. Two in five women will die from heart disease. And women are less likely to make a big deal about it while it’s happening.
13. Be very afraid of being in a fire. You have a one in 1,179 chance of dying in a fire from exposure to smoke or flames. Fires in homes caused 82% of fire deaths in 2004. Less than 1/4th of households have a tested escape plan, and almost a third think they’d have at least 6 minutes to escape. Most likely you’d only have two or three minutes. (For more information, go to NFPA.org) This one is particularly timely for me as I prepare to move into my first home with thoughts of my friend’s housefire on my mind. You can bet your wet-willies I’ll be making extra certain to fire-proof the house.

Source: Self, August, 2006.


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In Search of the Art of Travelling

I’ve talked before about my fear of flying and how I hate to travel. I suppose the anxiety I feel about travel is really porportional to the distance and time and effort involved. Personally, I’m not particularly fond of going anywhere. I prefer to stay home; though I don’t mind being at work.

But really, there’s a lot of stress involved in going anywhere in particular. There’s the matter of dressing appropriately, make-up or no make-up, making sure you leave enough time to get ready before you must leave your house to drive somewhere…there’s more stress if you’re going somewhere you’re unfamiliar with and quite frankly that’s often true now that I’m in Maine. There’s the stress of making sure you arrive on time. There’s more stress if you’re the first one there. There’s different stress if you aren’t the first one there. Then there’s the stress of having to converse with people while worrying about saying the wrong thing or trying to be funny and when is it appropriate to leave — wouldn’t want to leave too early or stay too long.

And that’s just the stress of going somewhere social.

Taking a trip is a big ball of anxiety-ridden stress for me. First you have to make the travel arrangements, whether it be airplanes, trains, buses, or automobiles. Personally, I feel better if I have the tickets bought and paid for as early as possible. The fact that the bus station doesn’t do reservations is making my stomach hurt as I type.

Then there’s the packing — what if you pack wrong for the weather or don’t have the right clothes for an unexpected social event? What if you don’t really want to read that book you packed once you get there? What if you change your mind about your jewelry after you leave? And what will the security guy think when he searches your luggage — really, once I had a security guy comment on what was in my suitcase which was half-filled with WWery snacks. I kind of wonder what they’ll think of my copy of The Dark History of Christianity and my Paranoia magazine this year.

I started packing on Sunday for this trip. All I have left theoretically is the bath stuff.

But the real anxiety starts the day before the trip. I start feeling like I should be leaving and getting to the first stop of the trip. I just want to get there, wherever there is. I just want the whole thing over.

If it’s a 2 hour trip to Boston, I have to keep myself from leaving four hours early. I begin to worry about being late and not finding the place or something happening.

If it’s something bigger like a multi-leg trip across the country, I just want to get to each stop as quickly as possible. I start worrying about missing flights or buses overbooked or not finding the right terminal or being in the bathroom when they announce boarding of my plane. The whole time I’m travelling, I’m checking and double-checking and tripple-checking my tickets and itenery, I’m going over what needs to be done in my head, and I’m growing anxious that I can’t get to the next step because I’m waiting for the plane to land or waiting for the plane to board or waiting for the time to leave my house.

Add in that fear of flying, that feeling that one should not be flinging oneself through the air in a big metal box, and it’s just a stomach-wrenching, acid-churning, migraine-inducing event that I want over as quickly as possible and it doesn’t end until I have my luggage safely back in my possession and am comfortly installed in my hotel or at my friend’s or family’s house…

And then the whole time I’m on the vacation/trip, in the back of my mind, I’m already going through the list of things I’ll have to do on the journey back home — what time do I need to leave where I’m staying, what time does the plane/bus/train leave, how long will I have between stops to get to the next terminal…and on and on and on.

Some people seem to enjoy travelling. Those people always seemed so relaxed. They have brought DVDs to watch and books to read and don’t appear to be in a whole lot of hurry. They can nap without worrying that they won’t wake up when the plane lands or the bus arrives at the terminal. They chat with strangers without concern or paranoia.

I envy them.

I have 13 hours and 26 minutes until I need to leave my house for the bus station.

Tags: fear of flying, stress, anxiety, travel

Discombobulated Thoughts — August 27, 2005

• I tried to explain to a lesbian friend why women like the Baldwin brothers, but since they aren’t my type, she just looked at me like I was nuts.
• PW’s beaux is arriving in New Orleans in time for them to evacuate for the hurricane.
• El is worried that the hurricane will interfere with our Thursday flights to Atlanta as the weather system might be there by then.
• I think I heard on the news that there were two more incidents with planes last night.
• Maybe I’ll take the valium to get on the plane after all this time rather than do what the shrink wants and reason with my brain.
• I hate having a migraine when I want to be doing stuff.
• My cat looked so cute chasing his tail in the bathtub.

Tags: discombobulated, New Orleans, Hurricane Katrina, DragonCon, fear of flying

Same Thing Happened Last Time

My headache is only slightly better but now I have a sore throat and I feel like someone has turned the heat on right above my cubicle. The last time I saw N2, I had a horrible migraine, which in part could have been the stress of being in an unfamiliar area and in charge of driving and in part could have been the stress of meeting her in person for the first time and in part could have been the weather, which as I recall went through phases of being hot, cool, and wet.

I couldn’t finish my tofu wrap, but it was extra big for some reason, and turned my pierced nose up at fries I didn’t need anyway.

I’ve just taken some tylenol. I can’t remember if I actually took my ultracet this morning. I’m debating taking a Vicadin once I get to the appropriate gate at the airport.

I’m thinking my BP must be sky high for me to be this hot and uncomfortable but two days ago it was 106/80 at the doctor’s office, so I don’t know. I just wish I could go stand in a freezer for a few hours.

Anyway, I don’t want to be miserable when I get to D.C. I want to have fun on my vacation and not be a party pooper.

The weird part is that I feel jittery like the doctor said I might feel with the switch to Effexor, but my head hurts too much for me to enjoy it. *sigh*

Tags: wellness, fear of flying, migraine

Why Today?

Well, I’m feeling fairly ill this morning. I’ve got a migraine and I feel nauseated and quite frankly, I can’t decide if it’s the anxiety over flying today or my recent Depo shot or the switch from Prozac to Effexor yesterday that is causing it. Granted, my doctor did warn me that the switch in drugs might make me feel jittery and a little ill for a couple of days, and maybe I should have thought about switching after the trip this weekend.

I was unable to finish my bagel this morning and I don’t even want to think about the comfort Twizzlers I have in my laptop bag. Gah.

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And here’s a bit of ironic realization I had last night: Interesting that I collect fairy art and am enamoured with winged beings but have a horrible fear of flying.

Tags: migraine, Prozac, Effexor, Depo Provera, fear of flying