Thursday Thirteen Things To Worry About (#13)

I’m a worry-wart. I worry about all kinds of things and I can’t turn it off. I worry about whether or not my cats hate me. I worry about whether or not my co-workers are talking about me. I worry about whether or not the world is going to blow up today or if my house is going to burn down or if my headache means I’m getting a brain tumor.

I’m in therapy. At least I’m trying to get a grip, but it turns out that there are a lot of people who worry about a lot of things out there. Some things are worried about far more than they need to be and some things aren’t worried about enough. That’s what this week’s theme is.

Thirteen Things about N. Mallory

1. Don’t worry so much about getting a brain tumor. Apparently there’s less than a 1% chance that you’ll develop a cancer originating in your brain. If you must worry about cancer, worry about lung cancer; it’s the leading cancer killer of women. (Check out cancer.gov)
2. Don’t worry so much about being in a plane crash. As big a deal as I make of it here, the fact is that as few as 18 people died for every 41.7 million who flew on U.S. air carriers last year. The truth is that most people’s fear of flying stems from a fear of lack of control (like mine). The odds of you dying in an automobile accident are one in 237 over your lifetime, compared with one in 1.25 million over your lifetime for a commercial plane crash, according to the National Safety Council in Itasca, Illinois.
3. Don’t worry so much about having a miscarriage. One out of five pregnancies that is confirmed in a doctor’s office ends in miscarriage. Most miscarriages occur because of chromosomal abnormalities in the fetus and not because of something the mother ate, drank, or did.
4. Don’t worry so much about having bad breath. Only about one in seven people suffers from chronic halitosis. You wouldn’t know it from the gum, mint and breath freshener advertisers. Apparently the advertisers are winning because up to 1/3rd of the patients who see their doctor about chronic bad breath don’t have it.
5. Worry a little about being in a car crash. Motor vehicle accidents are the number-one cause of accidental death for women and the number-one killer of women under the age of 35. (whew! Just missed me!) Each year, 40,000 Americans die on the road. In fact, fear of vehicular death is unbelievably low in this country because Americans are familiar with cars and think they’re “in control” — so “in control” that one in five Americans still don’t wear a seat belt.
6. Worry a little about becoming disabled. One third of all Americans between 35 and 65 will become disabled for more than 90 days, according to the American Council of Life Insurers in Washington, D.C. A 20-year-old worker’s chances of becoming disabled are approximately twice as great as her chances of dying before retirement age, yet only 28 percent participate in group long-term benefits. (My mother was surprised to learn that I always carry both short-term and long-term insurance in case something happens to my hands or arms. Can’t imagine what a programmer would do without them.)
7. Worry a little about getting breast cancer. One in 13 American women will be diagnosed with breast cancer (one in eight if their mom or sister has the disease). It is the second-leading cause of cancer death in U.S. women, after lung cancer. But 94% of new cases of breast cancer are in women age 40 or older. My grandmother and great-grandmother both had breast cancer. I’m not waiting for my mother. If breast cancer runs in your family, find a doctor who will begin regular mammograms as early as 30 or 35. (To learn more, go to BreastCancer.org)
8. Worry a little about contracting diabetes. Diabetes is the fifth deadliest disease in America. The death rate due to diabetes has increased by 45 percent since 1987, due to the rise in type 2, the kind traditionally developed later in life — only more and more kids are getting it now. It’s also the leading cause of blindness, amputation and dialysis, and increases a person’s risk for heart disease.
9. Worry a little about going blind. An estimated one in 200 Americans is legally blind. Sixty-seven percent of blind Americans are female, mostly because women live longer, but other factors, such as genetics, sex hormones, and lifestyle differences, may put women at increased risk.
10. Be very afraid of getting skin cancer. Cancer of the skin is the most common cancer. One in five Americans will develop skin cancer, including nonmelanoma cancers, which are more common and rarely fatal, and melanoma, which accounts for the majority of skin cancer deaths. The rate of nonmelanoma cancers, including basal cell and squamous cell varieties, has nearly tripled in women under 40 in the past 30 years.
11. Be very afraid of contracting an STD. Your lifetime chance of getting an STD is greater than one in two. How scary is that? Made me cross my legs when I read it.
12. Be very afraid of having a heart attack. Two in five women will die from heart disease. And women are less likely to make a big deal about it while it’s happening.
13. Be very afraid of being in a fire. You have a one in 1,179 chance of dying in a fire from exposure to smoke or flames. Fires in homes caused 82% of fire deaths in 2004. Less than 1/4th of households have a tested escape plan, and almost a third think they’d have at least 6 minutes to escape. Most likely you’d only have two or three minutes. (For more information, go to NFPA.org) This one is particularly timely for me as I prepare to move into my first home with thoughts of my friend’s housefire on my mind. You can bet your wet-willies I’ll be making extra certain to fire-proof the house.

Source: Self, August, 2006.


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Tags: Thursday Thirteen, meme, bloghopping, risks, accidents, health, cancer, fear, interesting trivia

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It’s All About The Kidneys

Well, my latest lab work came back still showing something abnormal with my kidneys. I’m going back over to the hospital this afternoon to get stuck some more; all of these tests have to do with autoimmune illnesses related to the kidneys apparently and most of these results won’t be back for a few weeks.

The Rheumy wants me to see a Kidney specialist and I’ve asked him to consult with my GP as she was also discussing this — I’d like to have one Kidney specialist and not two in the mix. Since he’s not in today, that discussion beteween doctors will have to wait until Monday, which is fine.

So the angiogram is still on hold because they can’t do any tests with contrasts until they know what’s going on with my kidneys, which they won’t know for a while. So all of that stress and panic just a few weeks ago was for naught. (After discussing this with my shrink, I’ve decided to work on not panicking about my health until the doctors start to panic from now on and just go with the flow.)

However, they’ve gone ahead and scheduled me for the CT-Scan of the lung for next Tuesday. The good news is that I’ve seen the original report from the x-ray now and I’m fairly sure it’s not cancer at this point.

Though I will say that one of the things I told my shrink is that I wish I could go back in time to before I went to the Rheumy and just pretend I didn’t go. I almost wish I could just pretend I’m just tired and I don’t feel well and forget trying to figure it all out at this point. The trying to figure it all out has become very overwhelming and time consuming. I guess for someone from the fast food generation, I just wasn’t prepared for this kind of process even though I said I was. I mean, I knew these kinds of processes of diagnosis can be long but I didn’t realize how stressful they can be. It’s so much easier when you have something recognizable like the chicken pox or a broken arm, but when your body is betraying you and medicine hasn’t caught up yet with what it might be, it’s like you’re lost and going crazy and the world is going crazy around you too.

Tags: wellness, autoimmune kidney disease, rheumatologist, CT Scan, lung cancer

Takayasu’s Arthritis, Cancer, & Cat Scans

I just got back from the rheumatologist follow up visit (after having had to sit through 2 hours of a budget meeting this morning).

Apparently, the Lupus blood test came back negative, but my Sed rate is still high at 90. He also doesn’t think it’s Sjögren’s Syndrome based on the blood work and my tear generation test.

So, now he wants to do some studies of my blood vessels to see if I have Takayasu’s Arthritis, which is a really rare disease where your blood vessels shrink. Apparently normally it shows up in Asian women, but he says it’s starting to show up in more and more non-Asian young women.

Anyway, now I’m waiting to be scheduled for a Cat Scan of my upper body where they’ll inject me with dye to get a blueprint of my blood vessels.

Also, apparently my chest x-ray had some worrisome dark areas. They sent it to the hospital to be looked at by a radiologist who agreed. So now I’ve got to have a Cat Scan of my lungs too. He would also like some studies of my lung capacity since I’m having trouble breathing without much added exertion.

Of course, my mother’s first reaction is “Does he think it’s emphysema?” I have no idea why she would ask that. I don’t smoke. I’ve never smoked. I don’t even date smokers. I don’t like the smell of smoke. Granted, my father smoked a pipe the first 18 years of my life, but I’ve never heard of anyone getting emphysema from 2nd hand pipe smoke.

(But don’t think it hasn’t crossed my mind that lung cancer isn’t a possibility. When he said, “dark spots” it was all I could do not to start bawling right there. I mean, “dark spots” is usually what they tell women when they see something funny leading up to breast cancer.)

Unfortunately he can’t start me on any kind of treatment still because we still don’t know what to treat.

I’m feeling a little frustrated and depressed this afternoon even though I know this is generally a long process. Maybe it’s the fatigue or the UTI or the daily migraine or the stress of having a dirty house or being behind on my hobbies again and starting to feel overwhelmed.

Tags: Takayasu's Arteritis, rheumatologist, CAT Scan, Lupus, Sjögren's Syndrome, ESR, cancer, emphysema

How Your Dog Can Help Cure Cancer

As many of you know, I am a huge supporter of breast cancer research.  So, when I recently learned that one of my favorite stores was donating money from sales of a particular item to breast cancer research, I was impressed.  Since I’m the nosy type, I had to do some research, and what I found really impressed me.

First of all, you should know that Planet Dog was started right here in Maine in 1997, but in 2000, wanting to give back to the community, the company founded Planet Dog Philanthropy, a grant-making organization, to fund creative and effective programs working for the environment, animal welfare, and education.  The overarching goal was to generate knowledge, develop new solutions to problems and promote activities that strengthen our communities.  Since then Planet Dog Philanthropy has awarded 21 grants totaling more than $75,000 to better the world around us. Because of limited resources, grants were targeted only within New England.

In 2005, the Board of Directors for Planet Dog Philanthropy reviewed the first five years and also considered where they wanted to go with the organization.  With a desire to refocus on a more nation-wide mission and wanting to make a bigger impact with their limited resources, the priorities changed and expanded and Planet Dog Philanthropy became The Planet Dog Foundation

Currently The Planet Dog Foundation has three main programs listed on their site, though I noticed other programs of interest are noted on displays in their main store.  The Ribbon Program is the one that original caught my attention and caused me to write all of this, of course, but it’s not just about breast cancer.

All of us at Planet Dog want to help find a cure for both breast cancer and prostate cancer. Our idea is simple – develop great dog toys with a great purpose and people will take it to the beach, to the park, wherever dogs play, fetch and romp with their buddies. There, the humans will engage in conversation with other humans about the toys - “My dog is helping to find a cure for cancer.” How? By Spreading the WOOF. For every Ribbon Ringo or Ribbon Buddy sold, Planet Dog Foundation will make a financial contribution to either the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation (Pink Ribbon Toys) or Memorial Sloan-Kettering Counseling Center (Blue Ribbon Toys). With your support, we can make a difference.

For pink ribbon toys, click here.

For blue ribbon toys, click here.

Since breast cancer runs in my family and I’ve known people with prostrate cancer, I’ve decided to buy Pugly one of each and, heck, I think I’ll even take him and them to the park and try to start up a “My dog is helping to find a cure for cancer” conversation with a cute guy conversation.

Meanwhile, you can support Planet Dog — local do-gooder dog-lovers — and do your part in helping to find a cure for cancer by buying one of these toys online.

Tags: breast cancer, prostrate cancer, Planet Dog, Planet Dog Foundation

Life Going On

So, the good news is that PW does not have breast cancer. Talk about breathing a sigh of relief. She was so relieved that she didn’t mind at all that the x-rays showed she has a kidney stone, which explains the pain in her side. :crazy:

I’m glad she’s o.k.

###So, I can’t recall if I mentioned it. I saw the doctor last week. The flu/cold I had cleared up immediately after I made the appointment, of course. However, I had to go in for a Depo shot and med check anyway and I wanted to talk to her about some issues I’ve been having with my GI tract — painfully bloaty and gassy with weeks of constipation rotating in and out. Ug.

Well, first off, I walked the mile to the appointment and my blood pressure was only 110/72! She said that if I lose some more weight (I’ve only lost 5 lbs since January 16th) and keep my blood pressure down, I maybe can come of the BP med in June. Good news there.

Plus, I talked to her about cutting back on the ambien. I now don’t take it every night but only as needed like the night after a bad night. Less pills is always good.

Unfortunately, after a discussion with the shrink and the GP, it was decided to double my prosac for the time being. The GP thinks I may suffer from that seasonal disorder and wants to try cutting the prosac back again in June and then look into light therapy next Winter. Honestly, maybe that whole sun thing is a factor. I know I hate driving home in the dark. It just feels so wearing and this last month with the snow storms in March, I’ve been tired of the weather and really ready for Spring or mud season as they call it.

So, for now, I need to keep watching my food and start trying to get some exercise in and try to find ways to meet people and hopefully get through my annual review on Wed. :crazy:

###My 34th birthday was something of a non-event. I got flowers from my parents on Friday as well as birthday cards from them and one grandmother. (Oh, and two e-cards from online friends and acquaintenances.) However, that’s all I got. I didn’t go anywhere or do anything different. It was kind of sad really.

I mean, I’m not much of a birthday person, but it was kind of a precursor to my life once my parents and grandparents pass on. It was a little lonely, I admit. I felt forgotten really, though two ex-boyfriends emailed me. None of my “good” friends recognized or remembered the day. PW had called me earlier in the week on the wrong day to wish me a happy one so I guess she’s excused. Still a part of me hoped for something more. It’s really a reminder that everyone is moving on with their lives and I’m so far away that I need to let go and work harder to make new friends.

Heck, I’m so lonely, I even discussed dating in therapy. I’ve given up on dating really. I can’t find anyone who is independent and has a life of their own and yet wants to share moments with me. Everyone I’ve dated seems to need that constant attention/companionship thing that sends me running for my independence.

It’s really silly to be thinking about it. If I can’t meet new friends, where am I going to meet people to date?

Tags: breast cancer, Depo Provera, blood pressure, Prozac, birthday

On Breast Cancer

So, PW had a mamogram, an ultrasound, and a biopsy on Wednesday. She is completely freaked out about the whole thing which is completely understandable. The waiting to hear the results is killing me so I can imagine how she feels. I imagine it’s impossible to think about anything else and she said everytime the phone rings, she’s afraid to pick it up. It’s like one phone call holds her future in it’s ring.

I really am so afraid for her as this is one of my fears too. However, the doctor told her he was 95% sure it was just a cyst and the doctor who did the biopsy told her that the sample he took “looked clean”. One of the nurses told her that she had a similar cyst herself for 8 years and it was no big deal.

Meanwhile, when PW went to the hospital the tech actually told her that she was too young to need a mamo and a baseline and she didn’t think the tests were at all necessary. PW told her she was welcome to call the doctor and ask him.

I know someone else who went a few years ago, also at 31, to that hospital to get a mamo and the tech then also argued with her. I just don’t understand how anyone, especially a woman, could make that argument that someone is too young to be having these tests. Breast cancer is an equal opportunity cancer; it doesn’t care how old you are and more and more young women are getting it and being misdiagnosed and dying. It just infuriates me.

Apparently even after the radiologist told the tech to do the mamo anyway, she treated PW pretty bad and it wasn’t until the radiologist thought they needed to do an ultrasound that the tech started being nice. PW told the radiologist that when she came back for the biopsy that tech better not be around. She wasn’t.

To be honest this morning, I feel sick and want to cry. I’m so afraid for PW. It’s taking all my will to not call her every 15 minutes to see if she’s heard yet. Her boyfriend has been doing that anyway so I probably wouldn’t be able to get through.

Tags: breast cancer

Happy Pre-Birthday!

PW called me last night to wish me a Happy Birthday. I think it’s funny because after over 10 years, she still gets my birthday mixed up with my mom’s. Mine isn’t until Sunday. Anyway, it made me laugh and gave me a chance to gossip.

Apparently, her Upper GI came back showing nothing wrong — no acid reflux, etc. Still she’s having chest pains and pains on her left side. Plus, the doctor found a small lump in her left breast which he thinks is probably a cyst but he’s sending her in for a mamo and a chest x-ray today and a blood test for diabetes at her request within the next week or so. The chest x-ray is too look at her heart. She is extremely freaked out and I tried to be a good friend and tell her everything’s going to be fine, but of course, she has every right to be concerned.

However, she has a great doctor. I should know; he was mine and I recommended him to her. You hear so many stories about doctors who write off the possiblity of breast cancer in young women PW’s age and then when the cancer is found, it’s too late. A sign of a good doctor is when he takes it serious enough to double check everything. Plus, he’s very patient and will generally humor you if you think you may have some horrible disease. Can’t tell you how many blood tests and EKGs and x-rays he did on my request. :crazy:

She also told me that Meg is apparently ill. She has cellulitus or something which is some sort of skin infection and then had allergic reactions to the antibiotics, which I thought was strange because it seems to me that she had an allergic reaction to antibiotics a few years ago which should have alerted her that they were bad things. I should think about sending a card, I guess.

She also said that Meg apparently now has her own cases and is working as a lawyer and that Peter is no longer the law librarian at his firm but is doing something else but still not doing lawyer-y stuff. I really wonder how he feels about that. He’s so competitive and Meg passed the bar the first time and he didn’t until the third time and she is working as a lawyer and he isn’t. Plus, from what I hear, she is making way more money than he is. I just can’t imagine that sits well with him because he always struck me as having a little of that man-is-the-bread-winner-attitude. *shrug*

PW also said that Peter’s been doing lots with her and that he volunteered to help her move a bed that she bought from Meg’s parents who are apparently selling their bed and breakfast or converting it to condos or something. I must admit I was surprised that he offered to help, but there are definitely changes going on in the dynamics of that group.

It’s just so strange that after all these years, the only one who really keeps in contact with me and that I keep in contact with is PW even after those big blow-outs and all those mean things said. She told me the other day that even in the years that we didn’t speak at all, she always thought of me as a friend. And the truth is that as hurt as I was, I would still have shown up if she needed someone…but I guess I kind of proved that, didn’t I?

Anyway, English will be back in the States a week from Friday to spend Easter with PW and she is planning on going to see him in June. She’s so cute about the whole thing. She really seems to want me to like him. Possibly this is because I didn’t like Manchild when they started dating and told her that it wouldn’t work out, which was rather prophetic, I guess. I’ve been wrong before. Anyway, I just want her to be happy and if he makes her happy and has her best interests at heart, then I’m happy for her.

It’s interesting that after Manchild left her, she told me that she’d decided she didn’t think she wanted to have kids anymore but now that English is in the picture, she’s afraid if she has cancer, chemo will ruin her chances of having a kid. I predict she’ll be moving to England in a year. :satisfied:

Tags: birthday, breast cancer