After A While
I was looking through an old journal of mine and found this poem by Veronica Shoffstall. My mother gave it to me when I was struggling in college to find my niche, my place, myself I suppose. For some reason, I always come upon in again in my belongings when I most need to be reminded and comforted by its words and meaning — I suppose I find it when I need to learn from it again. Funny thing is that I don’t think I understood at 18 what it was really about; certainly at 35, I read it with a different understanding and some sadness, if not the same comfort.
After A While
After a while you learn the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning and
company doesn’t mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
and presents aren’t promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats with your head
up and you eyes open, with the grace of a woman,
not the grief of a child,
And you learn to build all you roads on today
because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for
plans and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if
you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own
soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you
flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure…
That you really are strong,
And you really do have worth.
And you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye, you learn…
Veronica A. Shoffstall
I want to send a copy back to my mother and thank her because it was these kinds of encouragements that made me strong and independent and clued me into the fact that I can buy my own flowers, even if every now and then it’d be nice to get them from someone else. 
Tags: Veronica Shoffstall, poetry
