Flying Out Of Portland

I know it’s been a while.  I kind of get around to posting things when I feel like it these days.  I meant to post right away about my experience flying out of the Portland Jetport in Maine but I didn’t have access to a computer while on my trip and when I got back, I had company and then one thing led to another and then I just never got around to it.

So, today I’m getting around to it.  So there.

I kind of felt it was important to report my observations since at the time of my flight in September, everyone was making such a big fuss about how a few of the 9-11 hijackers originated from the Portland Jetport.  I thought that maybe with that stigma in mind, the Portland Jetport might be extra careful with security.

Pugly and I arrived at the U.S. Airways counter a good two hours early.  (If you recall, I always arrive at least two hours early at every airport due to the fact that no matter where I am going or how well I’ve followed the rules I always end up in some sort of altercation with airport security — I suspect I am considered to be on some list and have been since 9-11 — and that this has resulted in the fact that friends and family will no longer travel with me or even on the same day or airline with me.)

To the clerk at the U.S. Airways counter, I presented my folded up piece of paper from priceline.com indicating that I had purchased a plane ticket online to Cleveland that took me to Philadelphia first.  No one ever asked me for any picture identification.  I did have to present a credit card to pay for the extra carry-on baggage of a dog in a carrier.  (Note:  No one measured the carrier or weighed the dog to determine that either fit the requirements for the flight.)  Comments were made that Pugly was the cutest dog ever seen.

I handed my check-in luggage to the man at the giant x-ray machine and Pugly and I headed upstairs toward the gates.

If you’ve ever been to the Portland Jetport, then you know.  There’s nothing in the Portland Jetport.  Before the Security Gates, you have your choice of a concession stand and a magazine stand.  Pugly and I sat around for a while eating snacks and letting kiddies pet him.  Then we went in the magazine stand and bought a box of Maine salt water taffy for my aunt since we were going to visit her and all.

When we had an hour left, we got in the security line.  Now here, they did ask for an ID.  Pugly had to come out of his carrier.  Women started gushing over him.  Again people started insisting that he was the cutest dog they’d ever seen.

Now here’s what I found amusing.  This was during the height of the “no liquid” scare.  You know, when they were throwing away your lipstick and hand lotion.  My lipstick made it through just fine, but that saltwater taffy that I just bought in the magazine stand a few feet away had to go under extreme scrutiny.  I guess you never know when terrorists will be sneaking saltwater bomb taffy on board.  They actually subjected those taffy to all kinds of electrical and chemical kinds of tests with there big machines that looked like something on  Pinky & the Brain or the old campy Batman shows.

Finally, Pugly, the saltwater taffy, and I made it through.

By the way, I never needed my ID again.  U.S. Airways never did need to be sure if I was me.  I just needed that folded up print-out from priceline.com.  I guess I should be comforted that at least TSA was checking, but somehow I’m not.

What you should know about the rest of the trip is this:

• On the first U.S. Airlines trip, the stewardess didn’t care that the pet carrier was too large to fit under the seat and blocked both myself and the passenger sitting next to me from being able to make any kind of exit in case of an exit.
• At the airport in Philadelphia, I was very frustrated by the fact that it is impossible to buy water bottles or other drink bottles in a size appropriate to the amount of time of your time between flights.  This was during the time when you still could not take pre-purchased drinks on airplanes after the London scare.
• U.S. Airlines employees were not consistent in ensuring that boarders dispose of bottles of fluids before boarding.  The same stewardess would let some board but not others.  For example, I had to dispose of my Dysani but the man ahead of my could bring his Diet Coke.
• On the second U.S. Airlines trip, I had to sit in a row by myself so as to not to affect other passengers with my oversized pet carrier in case of emergencies.
• No one asked me to prove I was taking only my own luggage.

I was very glad that we drove back to Maine.

Tags: U.S. Airways, Portland Jetport, TSA, flying, airport security

Pugly & I Will Be Trippin’

O.K. So, Pugly and I are hopefully leaving this afternoon/evening via U.S. Airways for Ohio to go meet up with my parents and see my Aunt and gramma.  I say hopefully because the carrier I ordered from online that fit the U.S. Airways measurments was too small for Pugly.  Seriously, there was no way he was going in it.  Since there had been all kinds of problems getting it and it finally arrived on Monday…I had to buy another rather expensive one on Tuesday in desperation.  This one does not meet the measurements.

I am prepared to start crying in the airport should they either insist on putting him in the cargo hold or insist he can’t come.  And trust me…when I cry, it’s not pretty but generally I get my way.

It’s possible that I can take out part of the metal frame of the carrier to make it a little more squishy to fit under the seat, which will be part of my argument.  I’m hoping there aren’t many people flying tonight.

Also, Pugly just keeps having set backs in house training and I’m all worried about what he might do at my Aunt’s because she’s been very vocal about that.  So, yesterday, Pugly got some pee-wee pants.  I keep trying to tell him how handsome he looks in them but he wasn’t feeling well last night and I don’t think he bought it.  I’ll try to get a picture when my camera isn’t packed.

And then there’s that.  Pugly isn’t feeling well.  His stomach is all upset.  He didn’t even eat yesterday.  Last night he had horrible gas.  I know this because he slept next to me with his butt in my face on my pillow legs up and askew.  We had to get up and go outside a couple of times for emergency poo-poos but there wasn’t anything that same out.  He didn’t eat breakfast either.  I don’t know if he sees the luggage and there was all the house cleaning and he’s worried he’s going to get left somewhere again.

Anyway, hopefully we’ll be on a plane tonight and visiting with family over the next few days.  I’m not taking a computer and I don’t know what my Internet access will be, if any, so don’t expect any reports until next week.  I’ve gone ahead and set up some quote of the days for you to keep you entertained while we’re gone though.

But if you hear about a red-headed woman and a pug terrorist pair being arrested in Portland today…call us a lawyer — it was just dog treats and Diet Coke.

Tags: U.S. Airways, Pug, the puppy, travel

Singing The Airline In-Cabin Pet Carrier Blues

Do you know how hard it is to find a pet carrier that meets the criteria of a specific airline’s in-cabin restrictions?

First, you have to really hunt around their website for the actual restrictions because they don’t actually want you to know what they are because really they don’t want you to fly with your beloved furry family member. Then once you find it, there’s a bunch of unrealistic stuff to read through — by the way, did you know that if you want to bring a four inch aquarium fish with you on an airplane, it will cost you $80 per flight? — and finally you find the measurements you have to adhere to: (emphasis is US Airways)

The maximum carrier size varies by aircraft. America West operated flights accept pet carriers up to 17 inches long x 16 inches wide x 8.5 inches tall. US Airways operated flights accept pet carriers up to 21 inches long x 16 inches wide x 8 inches tall. Use your confirmation e-mail to determine your aircraft type. If you have multiple flights on different aircraft or don’t know which aircraft you’ll be flying on, carriers up to 17 inches long x 16 inches wide x 8 inches tall are accepted on all US Airways aircraft.

Well, this is crappy. My e-mail confirmation says that my flights are operated by US Express/Air Wisconsin and that the aircrafts are both “Canadair Regional Jet (Jet)”. Soooooooo?

O.K. So really I still don’t know which of the measurements I’m supposed to use and I’d go for the compromose of 17″x16″x8″, but I’ve come to the conclusion that such a pet carrier does not exist in reality. I even suspect that if one did come into existence, everything else would suddenly cease to exist in that instant.

I’ve looked at hundreds of pet carriers over the last few days. What I think would help would be a website that listed them by size rather than just showing pictures of them as if everyone is shopping for trendiness. Some of them I’ve really had to hunt for the sizes on. For the most part it seems like most pet carriers seem to be about 8.5″ to 11″ wide and about 10″ to 12″ high. I’d really like to find one that’s 14″ to 16″ high. Finding one that’s 17″ long on the dot is also problemsome. They seem to be 14″ or 15″ or 18″ or 19″ and the first two are too short for Pugly and the other two are too long for US Airways.

It’s really becoming a stressful experience. This pet carrier even advertises that it’s approved for US Airways but it’s an inch too long and several inches too wide.
A phone call to US Airways later left me more frustrate because the connection sounded like I was talking to an adult from Peanuts speaking through a fast food ordering speaker. However, I did have an answer. 17″x16″x8.5″.

I really could have used the extra inch on the length.

Damn it.

I definitely need help here.

Tags: U.S. Airways, pet carrier, Pug, the puppy

Recommended Reading - 08/25/06

• ‘Liquid Bombers’ - The Impossible Bomb — A lot of websites have been linking to this explanation as to why the most recent terror plot from the UK could not have worked and why all of the fearmongering and passenger harrassment by the UK and American governments in the airports is unnecessary. I say, read it for yourself and decide for yourself.
• Homeland insecurity 2.0 — Pam @ Pam’s House Blend wrote one of the best reports of what travelling immediately after the latest terrorist plot scare was like that I’ve read.
  

  Again, the PA came on, this time it was for another flight — on Continental — that was boarding. This announcer, I’m not kidding you, went on for about 2-3 minutes warning people about taking on liquids and gels (”liquid” chapstick is a no-no, solid is OK), no coffee or soda will make it on board. Random checks at the gate would be performed. If they find contraband on you, you will be asked to give it up. If you don’t give it up, you’ll not be able to board, he boomed, and you would have to go on a later flight. “Not later today,” he warned, “maybe not even this week…maybe not for a couple of weeks.” OK, at this point, people are laughing, including the two of us. This is ludicrous.

  Our flight is finally called and we board. The plane is about to close up and a couple of late arrivals get on. This time we have a woman taking her sweet time, coming down the aisle with a steaming hot cup of Cinnabon coffee, which she proceeds to balance on an armrest as she casually loads her bag in the overhead bin, blocking the aisle as a couple of people wait behind her.

  Clearly, my friends, US Airways has let on the Cinnabomber.

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Tags: liquid bombers, airport security, Continental, U.S. Airways, crime rate, terrorism, morning-after pill, women soldiers, American soldiers, pharmacists, JonBenet Ramsey, Abeer al-Janabi, Jessica Lynch, Jim Bensman, Army Corps of Engineers, FBI, Duarris Perez, Guantanamo Bay, Gitmo, Cuba, Homeland Security, Bosnia, Algeria, Afghanistan, Iraq, Hamas, al-Qaeda, Hurricane Katrina, pink food coloring, food industry

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