The Missing Entry

Note: Written on 5/27/04…no idea why it wasn’t posted previously…

Life in a Northern town is kind of quiet. One one hand I’m bored and I would like folks to do things with outside of work but on the other, I’m not homesick or particularly lonely as of yet. I actually feel a little guilty about not missing everyone tons and tons to tears but to be honest, toward the end, I didn’t feel very close to some of them. I just think we were all getting on with our lives — though I had that emotional distress what with being unemployed for over three months and needed people in my life more than I think they understood or were prepared for.

Anyway, I haven’t missed RPG gaming too much because we were hardly doing any while I was there. Supposedly Peter is going to get a speaker phone so I can continue to play in his Star Wars RPG sessions now that I have unlimited long distance, but he says he’s been too busy to come up with the next installment. So my unlimited long distance is only used for talking to PW and my parents. I sent gifts to PW for the Star Wars RPGers but they’ve not had a game, though months ago one was promised for May. I’m assuming the gifts are still sitting there waiting.

I do miss board gaming but I wasn’t thrilled by my two conversations with the younguns at The Keep, a local game shop that seems to have a regular compliment of late teens to early 20-somethings who’ve never heard of the games I like to play.

I miss having folks to go to movies with as well. I have been meaning to go to the movies the last three to four weekends and it just hasn’t happened for one reason or another. This weekend I would really like to go see Shrek 2.

I’m also planning on buying a washer and dryer this weekend. A few weeks ago, I decided that I could schlep my laundry to the apartment complex’s laundry mat until fall — I will not be schleping in the snow. I thought I could save myself some financial woe until then — particularly after paying $900 last week to get my car fixed up for the state inspection sticker. The weather had turned nice — in the 60’s and 70’s and most sunny all the time.

Then it rained and stayed below 60 for a week. I have no desire to haul my stuff across the parking lot and down the hill in that. So, I’m hoping there will be some sales this weekend. I’ll spend Sunday or Monday at Sears, Sams, Best Buy, and Appliance Warehouse. Fun.

Work is going ok. Kind of slowish and a little boring at the moment but I expect it to pick up. I feel like I’m learning stuff, which is good.

The diet is slow going. I’ve rejoined WW online. Perhaps I should try to find some sort of meeting time I like so I can meet people. I’ve been doing WW for 3 weeks and have only lost 1.6 pounds. The first week I lost nothing but that was my fault as I overate a lot the last three days of the week. The second week I lost the 1.6 pounds. This week showed no loss though my weight has fluctuated daily between 149.4 and 148.0. I stayed within my points this last week and even increased my veggie and fruit intake, so I don’t know what the deal is. I probably should drink more water.

I’ve meant to go to church the last two weekends but woke up with nausea-filled migraines the last two Sundays and ended up stuck in bed until mid afternoon both times. Maybe it’s psychological there. Dunno.

I went to a baby shower for someone in the office I’d never met before. MJ made me…well, she pressured me. I did not have cake or ice cream though I noticed the Carb Smart ice cream was being scooped up by the people who were also eating the pound cake covered in homemade icing made from 14 pounds of powdered sugar — not kidding.

Over all, things are o.k. They could be better, but they’re o.k.

I am stressed about the gas prices and the war in Iraq and politics, but otherwise, I’m o.k.

Tags: Shrek 2, migraine

I Can’t Believe It’s Almost June Already

I can’t believe tomorrow is June already. This month seems to have slipped right by without too muc hooplah.

I really have been meaning to write and I really don’t have much of an excuse. I’ve spent the month working, dieting, shopping, orgainizing, unpacking, cleaning and purging. I have a whole closet full of stuff to take to Goodwill but I’m reluctant to take it until I’m done with the unpacking. I’m so lazy I just want to go the one time. My goal is to have nothing in those carboard boxes except holiday decorations — and those will be transfered to more appropriate boxes as they are unpacked and used. Everything I unpack I ask myself if I’ve been using it or if I really plan to use it and if I do, it gets put in a place to stay and if not, it gets put in a box to go. I can’t believe how many boxes I’m giving up, though they aren’t out yet. However, it does feel kind of good to purge. I’m ready to stop being a packrat and start embracing my inner Monica. I guess all of those episodes of Clean Sweep are starting to pay off.

My electric bill for the first month here was $66! I couldn’t believe it. I have a townhouse that is 100 square feet bigger than my last one and my bill is $100 - $150 cheeper! Of course, there’s no air-conditioning which was a big factor in New Orleans. I’ve discovered that so far, outside of one day, I’ve not really had a real problem with heat. Certainly there’s no problem with humidity up here that I’ve discovered. BJ always said humidity in New Orleans was like walking into one of those hot wet hand towels they give you in sushi restaurants. :hehe: The one day I had a problem it was 80 degrees outside and pouring down rain with high winds so I couldn’t have but two windows open that were protected somehow. The next day I bought a fan for downstairs and one for upstairs just to circulate the air. I’ve used the upstairs one a couple of times but not because of real heat — when I have migraines I feel hot with no raised body temperature but the fan blowing on me makes me feel better.

I’ve had a couple of migraines, mostly on Sundays, that were so bad I thought I’d be sick — was actually once. I only had one really bad one that I went to work with and I suffered but I made it through the day. I did get one last Friday afternoon too but again I just suffered through it.

I have a theory about my morning headaches. I think some of them are caused by sleep apnea. Now, the cats aren’t talking so I don’t know if I snore. I asked my mom if I did since we shared the big bed at the inn in April but she didn’t hear me snore — probably because she couldn’t hear it over her snoring. Anyway, snoring isn’t the only version of sleep apnea. It can be caused by a cessation of breathing for whatever reason. I think that may be my problem. Thinking back there have been a few times when I woke up taking a deep breath. Symptoms include restless sleeping, insomnia, day-time fatigue, and feeling tired all of the time. These are all things I suffer from. Still, I don’t have an appointment with a doctor until mid-July so I’ll just have to keep a list of things I want to talk to her about.

I tried eliminating the food on the no-no list but I just couldn’t do it. I did cut back on the foods on the list and I was caffiene free for 3 weeks before I was out shopping and hit with a bad headache and it was easier to get a Diet Coke than buy Tylenol when I have 2 bottles of Sam’s Club-size Tylenol at home. :plain:

So, I’m still having headaches pretty much daily. I’m trying to stick to just taking Tylenol. I reserve Ultracet for the bad ones and I’m avoiding the Zomig completely.

***My weight loss program isn’t going as well as planned. I’ve been staying within my WW points but I’ve only lost 1.6 pounds this month. The last few days my weight has been going up. Granted, I’ve not done well with the water and I haven’t added exercise back into my lifestyle. I’ve had excuses. Excuses aren’t always good reasons. I haven’t done my Firm DVDs because there are still big boxes with artwork in my living room in the way. I haven’t been on my treadmill because until this weekend there were too many boxes in the office surrounding it (stuck in the upward position). Today I went shopping for many hours and came home increadibly sore and aching — a sign that I’m really out of shape. My knees have started bothering me too which is upsetting me because I’m afraid that my weight has finally done something to them. I really don’t want to end up having to do surgery because having watched Red go through it, I know that the surgery doesn’t really fix it and you end up having to do it again and again. ***I woke up at 7am this morning to a loud beep sound which turned out to be something in my house announcing that the electricity was out. What I then realized is that if the electricity goes out, I have no heat (because the gas heater is plugged into the electric socket for some reason) and I have no phone (because the cable phone is controlled by the special cable box which is plugged into the socket) and I cannot cook because I have an electric stove and my bathroom is pitch dark because there are no windows in there…By 8:30am, it was below 60°F in the upstairs room with the sunlight flooding in. Fortunately someone else in the complex must not have a cable phone because they turned on the electricity again.I just hope that doesn’t happen during winter… ***I went to see Shrek 2 this morning at 9:30am. It really is hard to get used to the old theaters again. New Orleans has those THX stadium-like theaters that really spoil you. Still the movie is really good, as good as the first. I love Puss in Boots but I’m a sucker for a cat with a Spanish accent. What can I say? One of the funniest scene is when people run in terror from the Starbucks to the Starbucks across the street…you’ll understand when you see it. Really, I can’t wait for it to come out on DVD so I can watch it again to catch all the little details and jokes.Next weekend I’m going to see Harry Potter for certain, and I’ll probably go to the Old Port Festival…unfortunately alone. I’m really not good at walking up and talking to strangers — guess my parents taught me too well — so I doubt I’ll come home with any new friends, but I’m at least going to go check it out.Toward the end of the month, there’s an anime/gaming con in Portland which I am definitely going to. I’m just trying to decide if I want to go for all three days (well, Friday eve through Sunday anyway) or just Saturday and Sunday. I really want to make an effort to go to the open board gaming and open SJ gaming since those are the things I’m used to and miss. I also want to go watch the Cosplay and learn more about it because I think I would be interested in participating in that in the future…guess I need to take sewing lessons.I have been kind of keeping my ears open for some kind of artsy class. I went to two craft stores today and inquired about the classes for next month but both only have painting classes this month — something that just doesn’t interest me unless it’s painting objects and not canvasses. I’d like to learn soap-making, candle-making, beading, sewing, applique crafts, mosaic art, and maybe glass staining. I would like to learn how to feaux paint my furniture too. I’d also like to take a cooking class — I wish now I’d taken a cajun cooking class before I lost my job.

***I’m just now really starting to miss “back home”; really it’s just little things, like the sushi place I used to go, just hanging out with friends occassionally, going to movies in the Palace, gaming, Cafe Cafe’s salads, my favorite Mexican places, Blue Bunny yogurt (do you know how hard it is to find Light Yogurt made with Spenda here?), and other little things that add up.Of course, finding Skinny Cows in coffee and strawberries & cream flavors helps a little… ***I know it’s going to take a while but I’m still having anxiety attacks about losing my job. I’m really kind of worried that the moment I get everything unpacked and have paid for my “new” used washer & dryer (buying them from some neighbors who are moving back South in a few weeks because the winters are too long), then I’ll be fired again. I just don’t feel secure though I don’t know why not. I mean, o.k., this is a 2 year temp job which makes me a little more easily disposable and also I don’t feel like I know everything I should yet but I also feel like I should already — though I know I was at my last job for over 6 years and while I may have at times thought I knew everything, I didn’t. I want to make myself indispensable so tomorrow I am getting together with MJ to learn how to do some of the work that only she does on the interface team because the other two simply had no interest in learning/doing it and it’s a bit of a carry over from when she worked on the Eclipsys product. She just seems so overloaded with stuff so I suggested she give some of the work to me and show me how to do it. My other two assignments are kind of slow and boring and I’d like to break it up.Still, the nightmares and the anxiety aren’t going away. In a way I think they are getting worse. I’ve been at my job 2 months now and I really feel like I’ve got another month to really prove myself. I want to accomplish something beyond a few Visio diagrams and creating some how-to documents.Though the Skinny Cows do help…sometimes…

Tags: Clean Sweep, migraine, sleep apnea, insomnia, Ultracet, Zomig, Shrek 2, anxiety