Quote of the Day: On A Million Monkeys At A Million Keyboards

“We’ve heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know that is not true.”
– Robert Wilensky

Tags: Quote of the Day, Million Monkeys, Million Keyboards, Shakespeare

Thursday Thirteen Things I Wonder About (#19)

My mind works in strange and mysterious ways…

Thirteen Things about N. Mallory

1. How often do other people change out the underwear in their underwear drawer? I mean, so they schedule a regular amount of time? Twice a year maybe to go through and throw out all the ratty old underwear they wouldn’t wear on vacation or on a date or in front of their cats and replace them?
2. Speaking of underwear, am I the only one who’s ever bought new underwear just so I didn’t have to wash clothes? Or whole new outfits even? Or a couple of days-worth of clothes?
3. What do other people think about during their commute to work? Do they just space out and not remember how they got to work? Do they think about the AIDs issue in Africa, last night’s Daily Show, what they’re going to make for dinner? Am I the only one who has whole imaginary conversations and arguments with myself that I might have with other people that just piss me off further when I’m already pissed off or help convince me more that I’m right about something?…What?
4. Do other people worry that they might look up and find someone staring in their window at them, especially at night? Every night? Even on the second story? Or driving in their car? Especially when looking in the rear view mirror?
5. Why can’t someone invent a spray that discourages my puppy from poo-pooing on my rug? They make stuff to clean it up. They make stuff to “neutralize” the smell. Can’t they make something that makes him sniff that spot and think “naughty!”?
6. Why can’t all my pets learn to use the toilet like me? Is it really that difficult? I mean, they’re always watching me, studying me when I use it. Surely by now they’ve figured it out.
7. Why do people think South Park is funny? Seriously. I just don’t get it.
8. Why don’t Target or WAL-Mart carry white floating shelves? Do people really only decorate in dark colors anymore? Don’t the people who order stock for them watch HGtv or TLC at all?
9. Was my old apartment building filled with mold like my crazy old neighbor claimed and was it making me sick? I have to say that I’ve had a reduction in headaches since I moved into the house. Though before I moved into the apartment, I suffered from chronic migraines for 20+ years. However, the fibromyalgia did become a problem while I was in the apartment and it’s been better too. Granted, I’ve been eating my strict pseudo-vegetarian diet and doing aquatic physical therapy. It’s hard to tell. But the mildew problem on my furniture and in my kitchen is gone now that I’m in the house. (The allergist said I wasn’t allergic.)
10. If my mom isn’t coming for my gall bladder surgery, who is going to drive me to and from and take care of me and is it wrong to be annoyed at my grandmother for taking up my mother’s time? My grandmother isn’t actually physically ill, but she is bipolar. She has to be watched because she won’t take her meds or eat like she should because she’s decided she doesn’t want to and she didn’t like the nursing home she was in. She demanded that my parents take her with them from Ohio to New Mexico for a visit after Thanksgiving and she shows no signs of wanting to go home. My dad shows no signs of wanting to take care of his own mother so it falls on my mom. So, now that I have surgery scheduled in February, I don’t have my mommy to take care of me and I’m a little disappointed. Does that sound too selfish?
11. Has TNT been showing a 3rd season of The Closer and I’ve missed it? I think I missed this season of Monk too. They don’t seem to be showing them regularly. When will there be a new season of Eureka? There are simply too many shows I like now. It’s too much to keep up with and they’re all on at odd times and their seasons are all weird and even the DVR is getting confused.
12. Has anyone else noticed that Amazon’s Prime shipping is not worth the price anymore? Very few things are covered as “free shipping” and very few things are included in their “expedited” 2-day shipping either. I almost always am paying added shipping costs even on some books and for standard shipping, some things aren’t shipping for weeks, even two of the books I ordered (that I don’t have time to read). Since I usually buy $100-worth of stuff at a time, I don’t understand why I never qualify for free anything. Why am I paying for this extra service?
13. Do people only come here to read the Thursday Thirteen? My uncle told me that one of those news channels said that most blogs have only one reader. Am I posting to myself the rest of the week?

Tags: Thursday Thirteen, blog meme, meme, bloghopping, WAL-Mart, Target, the puppy, South Park, underwear, The Closer, Monk, Eureka, T.V., Amazon.com, mold, mildew, fibromyalgia, migraines

The Middle East Crisis: The Biggest Loser

So, Monday and Tuesday was filled with news of various world leaders patting each other on the back as to who won in the latest Middle East Crisis, this Israel/Hezbollah Conflict.

“We are today before a strategic, historic victory, without exaggeration,” Hezbollah’s leader, Sheik Hassan Nasrallah, said in a televised speech that was met with celebratory gunfire in the Shia suburbs of Beirut.

“We emerged from the battle with our heads high, and our enemy is the one who is defeated.”

In an impassioned address to the Knesset, Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert said “the IDF warriors always had the upper hand,” and promised to hunt down Hezbollah’s leaders. [“Israel, Hezbollah claim victory” (globalandmail.com)]
“Hezbollah attacked Israel, Hezbollah started the crisis, and Hezbollah suffered a defeat in this crisis,” Bush said. [“U.S. ‘freedom agenda; big winner in Lebanon War, Bush says” (Canada.com)]

Iran’s President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad claimed Hezbollah had emerged the winner in Lebanon and called the battles with Israel “God’s promise”. [“Iran president hails Hezbollah victory” (Ireland Online)

The President of Syria said today that the map of the Middle East had been redrawn by Hezbollah’s “victory” in its five-week war with Israel.

In a rare public speech, Bashir al-Assad said that the once invincible Israeli army had been humiliated and that the Jewish state would do well to seek peace and hand back occupied Arab land - or risk more defeats if it tried to pursue “terrorist policies” in the future.[“Syria declares victory in Lebanon conflict” (TimesOnline.co.uk)]

Probably the silliest thing to come out of Israel’s mini-war with Hezbollah in Lebanon is the posturing over who “won.”

Nobody won.[“No ‘winner’ in the conflict, but Palestinians are losers” (PensacolaNewsJournal.com)

This morning NPR was interviewing a family of Israelis returning to their homes for the first time since last Friday after it had been hit by a Hezbollah rocket. The father/husband/man of the house said what I think none of the news, military and government analysts get — except maybe The Pensacola News Journal — when asked about who he thought won the war, he basically said, “No one wins wars, there are only losers and losers.”

In the end, I wonder if governments and world leaders and terrorists and ideological fanatic folks and such stopped to ask those of us who are just trying to get through our lives every day if we would be interested in going to war and killing and destroying, I wonder how many of us would really be interested in the whole idea.

The king of Zor, he called for war
And the king of Zam, he answered.
They fashioned their weapons one upon one
Ton upon ton, they called for war at the rise of the sun.
Out went the call to one and to all
That echoed and rolled like the thunder.
Trumpets and drums, roar upon roar
More upon more.
Rolling the call of Come now to war.
Throughout the night they fashioned their might
With right on the side of the mighty.
They puzzled their minds plan upon plan
Man upon man
And at dying of dawn the great war began.
They met on the battlefield banner in hand.
They looked out across the vacant land.
And they counted the missing, one upon one,
None upon none.
The war it was over before it begun.
Two little kings playing a game.
They gave a war and nobody came.
And nobody came.
And nobody came.
And nobody came.
And nobody came.
[repeat and fade]
There is no pause:
The king of Zor, he called for war
And the king of Zam, he answered.
They fashioned their weapons one upon one
Ton upon ton, they called for war at the rise of the sun.
Out went the call to one and to all
That echoed and rolled like the thunder.
Trumpets and drums, roar upon roar
More upon more.
Rolling the call of Come now to war.
Throughout the night they fashioned their might
With right on the side of the mighty.
They puzzled their minds plan upon plan
Man upon man
And at dying of dawn the great war began.
They met on the battlefield banner in hand.
They looked out across the vacant land.
And they counted the missing, one upon one,
None upon none.
The war it was over before it begun.
Two little kings playing a game.
They gave a war and nobody came.
And nobody came.
And nobody came.
And nobody came.
And nobody came.
[”Zor and Zam”, The Monkees, 1968, The Birds, The Bees & The Monkees]

Tags: Israel, Lebanon, NPR, Hezbollah, The Monkees, Ehud Olmert, IDF, Hassan Nasrallah, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Iran, George W. Bush, Syria, Bashir al-Assad, Middle East, politics

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