August 29th, 2005
Well, I visited the doctor today. I had an appointment to get my Depo shot on Wednesday but the daily headaches had become a 3 day migraine that left me bent over my toilet at 2am last night, so I called and got an appointment with her. Obviously the vicodin no longer works.
The Bad news, of course, is the migraine and nausea. The doctor has given me a prescription for Zomig. We’ll see if that works. It sometimes takes a while to kick in if I remember right. She also gave me something for the nausea. I’m becoming frustrated by the being forced to do nothing much.
The Good news is that she did a general physical check and says that I don’t appear to have any symptoms of a brain tumor. Apparently she can tell that by shinging a bright blinding light in my eyes.
Anyway, I figured since I’d been having hot flashes and extended migraine that my blood pressure would be sky high. However, it was 118/78 which is extremely good for me. So, that would be my O.K. news.
However, to let you know how ill I feel, I actually threw out part of my lunch. I couldn’t eat it and I didn’t snack in the afternoon. I mean, there’s a reason I’m back in my fat dress. I can’t seem to stop eating. So it’s a catch-22, I can remain ill and waste away or I can feel better and fight the compulsive eating.
Tags: migraine, Depo Provera, Zomig, blood pressure, wellness
August 22nd, 2005
I started off feeling o.k. this morning despite having overslept. I was fine on the ride to work and after I arrived for a while.
It was really weird because I was halfway through eating breakfast when suddenly there was a stabbing pain in my head and I felt ill eating. It’s very frustrating because I always used to look forward to my shredded wheat/yogurt/fruit breakfast, but I really felt that I’d throw up if I ate another bite.
More
Tags: migraine, Depo Provera, Ultracet, Vicodin
June 10th, 2005
Well, I’m feeling fairly ill this morning. I’ve got a migraine and I feel nauseated and quite frankly, I can’t decide if it’s the anxiety over flying today or my recent Depo shot or the switch from Prozac to Effexor yesterday that is causing it. Granted, my doctor did warn me that the switch in drugs might make me feel jittery and a little ill for a couple of days, and maybe I should have thought about switching after the trip this weekend.
I was unable to finish my bagel this morning and I don’t even want to think about the comfort Twizzlers I have in my laptop bag. Gah.
And here’s a bit of ironic realization I had last night: Interesting that I collect fairy art and am enamoured with winged beings but have a horrible fear of flying.
Tags: migraine, Prozac, Effexor, Depo Provera, fear of flying
March 21st, 2005
So, the good news is that PW does not have breast cancer. Talk about breathing a sigh of relief. She was so relieved that she didn’t mind at all that the x-rays showed she has a kidney stone, which explains the pain in her side. :crazy:
I’m glad she’s o.k.
###So, I can’t recall if I mentioned it. I saw the doctor last week. The flu/cold I had cleared up immediately after I made the appointment, of course. However, I had to go in for a Depo shot and med check anyway and I wanted to talk to her about some issues I’ve been having with my GI tract — painfully bloaty and gassy with weeks of constipation rotating in and out. Ug.
Well, first off, I walked the mile to the appointment and my blood pressure was only 110/72! She said that if I lose some more weight (I’ve only lost 5 lbs since January 16th) and keep my blood pressure down, I maybe can come of the BP med in June. Good news there.
Plus, I talked to her about cutting back on the ambien. I now don’t take it every night but only as needed like the night after a bad night. Less pills is always good. 
Unfortunately, after a discussion with the shrink and the GP, it was decided to double my prosac for the time being. The GP thinks I may suffer from that seasonal disorder and wants to try cutting the prosac back again in June and then look into light therapy next Winter. Honestly, maybe that whole sun thing is a factor. I know I hate driving home in the dark. It just feels so wearing and this last month with the snow storms in March, I’ve been tired of the weather and really ready for Spring or mud season as they call it.
So, for now, I need to keep watching my food and start trying to get some exercise in and try to find ways to meet people and hopefully get through my annual review on Wed. :crazy:
###My 34th birthday was something of a non-event. I got flowers from my parents on Friday as well as birthday cards from them and one grandmother. (Oh, and two e-cards from online friends and acquaintenances.) However, that’s all I got. I didn’t go anywhere or do anything different. It was kind of sad really.
I mean, I’m not much of a birthday person, but it was kind of a precursor to my life once my parents and grandparents pass on. It was a little lonely, I admit. I felt forgotten really, though two ex-boyfriends emailed me. None of my “good” friends recognized or remembered the day. PW had called me earlier in the week on the wrong day to wish me a happy one so I guess she’s excused. Still a part of me hoped for something more. It’s really a reminder that everyone is moving on with their lives and I’m so far away that I need to let go and work harder to make new friends.
Heck, I’m so lonely, I even discussed dating in therapy. I’ve given up on dating really. I can’t find anyone who is independent and has a life of their own and yet wants to share moments with me. Everyone I’ve dated seems to need that constant attention/companionship thing that sends me running for my independence.
It’s really silly to be thinking about it. If I can’t meet new friends, where am I going to meet people to date?
Tags: breast cancer, Depo Provera, blood pressure, Prozac, birthday
October 5th, 2004
Life has been going on. Obviously.
I’ve been working — got myself a second nice raise and start being on-call this Thursday. I’ve been going to class — spent 10 Wednesdays building a stained-glass display case for my chess set and several Thursdays in a writing class.
I’ve been mostly trying to avoid political discussions because they frustrate me. I absolutely can’t understand people who don’t research the issues and form their own opinions; those people who rely on talk radio and supposed “newsreporters” to feed them their opinions are impossible to talk to. I’d much rather talk to someone with differing views who can make intelligent, thoughtful arguments than someone supposedly with my own views who just repeats rhetoric and propoganda. Unfortunately, it’s coming from all sides. People are angry. People are misled. People are ignorant. People are uniformed. I am constantly amazed at how heated a political conversation can be and how quickly it will be reduced to personal insults and name-calling.
I’ve been sick too. 20 days on my period. That doesn’t include the 5 days of PMS before hand. I’ve been bloated, nauseated, migrained, throwing up, feverish, body-ached, etc. until I can’t take it any more. I’m supposed to be going in for a Depo shot on Thursday. The doctor didn’t want to do it because she prefers to give it within the first 5 days of a period, but I kind of insisted as I am now doubtful it’s going to end.
She sent me in for a pelvic ultrasound last Friday which turned up nothing. I was actually disappointed that they couldn’t find anything wrong in there. Oh, and even when they say it won’t hurt? It does.
I’ve gained 10 lbs in the time since my period started and I can’t seem to stop eating. I think about losing weight every other second. This alternates between wanting to eat Twizzlers and potato chips. I’ve tried exercising, but everytime I go for a walk, I gain another pound. Kid you not. I’m at a loss.
I feel fat and uncomfortable. I need to reign myself in, but I seem to have no willpower and no self-control. I feel unhealthy too. I’ve felt out of breath for days, from any activity, even getting up to go to the bathroom or fix myself a diet soda. I’ve been trying to walk every other day because I’m scared of becoming so out of shape and fat that I’ll have a heart attack or something. The walking only makes me feel better for a short time. I am planning on going to the gym to do weights and som cardio tonight, but at the moment I don’t have high hopes and I feel like a cow.
Tags: wellness, Depo Provera
