Talking Politics

I’ll admit that I’ve been avoiding talking politics lately.  I’ve noticed that the closer it gets to an actual election, the less I like actually talking about politics and the issues with anyone, even the people I generally agree with.  Everyone’s so super-charged emotional and a little bit scary.  It’s best just to keep quiet and wait it out, in my not-so-humble opinion — besides, my mother always told me that you learn more when your mouth is shut and your ears are open.

It just so happens that one of my pre-move projects is to sort through my unread magazine pile and pull out all of the articles and recipes I’m interested in and sort them into my nifty neon orange expandable folder either for future reference or reading…and last night I came across this great, timely article called, “Ballot Season Banter: How to win at talking politics” by Elizabeth Terry in the October issue of my Health magazine of all things.  I suppose, it could be good for your health.

Anyway, here’s a summary of some interesting points she makes, which I also have observed over the last few years, about political chit-chatting:

• You’re never actually going to change anyone’s mind.  While you assume that your logical arguments will persuade a person to adopt your view, the other person is just as determined that his or her logic is just as strong.  You both have adopted logic that reinforces your own values.  Whatever the other person presents to you that doesn’t support your view, it won’t be logical to you and vice versa.
• The very subject of politics makes you less rational.  Doctors have used brain imaging studies to prove that the emotional part of the brain takes over when people start talking about politics.
• While you assume that your information, facts, and conclusions are correct, often , political debates are based on opinion or the interpretation of available or even unavailable facts.

Here are some recommended “Do’s” and Don’ts” by Don Gabor, a communications expert and author of Speaking Your Mind in 101 Difficult Situations regarding talking politics, particularly with friends and co-workers:

Don’t discuss politics with rivals, especially at work.  They may use what you say against you later.

Do have other nonvolatile topics that you can bring up instead.

Don’t ridicule politicians with whom you disagree.  Supporters tend to take this seriously — and personally.

Do count to 10 before responding to a crass remark about your favorite pol.  Try not to lose your temper.  And avoid responding in kind.

Don’t pressure people to agree with you.  No one likes a bully, Gabor says.

Do hear people out.  Paraphrase what the other person is saying to show that you’re trying to understand.

Don’t take the bait of someone who’s itching for a fight.

Do stop when anger flares or even if the conversation gets tense.  If you find you can’t agree, then simply agree to disagree.

Good luck.  Don’t forget to vote tomorrow.

tags: politics

3 comments

1. on November 6, 2006 at 1:11 pm

   Thud said:

   Well, as someone who’s had his mind changed by political discussion before — and changed people’s minds as well — I disagree that you can’t change someone’s mind. It generally helps if you can bring facts the other party hadn’t considered before. If the person you are talking to holds an opinion because of ignorance or incomplete understanding *and* that person is willing to listen honestly, you can reach them. It’s always worth trying, at least once or twice.

2. on November 6, 2006 at 4:47 pm

   n. mallory said:

   Well, what you’re talking about is open-mindedness. At least one of the people in the discussion must have an open-mind. I have come to the conclusion in the last year that very few people, particularly on the Internet, come to any political discussion with any kind of open-mind.

   See, I like to talk to people who have differing opinions who have facts to back their opinions and views up, because I like to think that such discussions will cause me to think and possibly reshape my opinions over time, whether that means, I will change my opinions in favor of their opinion or strengthen my own depends on the course of the conversation.

   However, I admit that I’ve become increasingly frustrated by closed-minded, simplistic, bullying rhetoric that doesn’t always make sense in context of the conversation — and it’s coming from all sides these days. Political conversations for me often feel like I’m banging my head against a brick wall.

   I’d love to find those people who are willing to “listen honestly” and “share intelligently”. I think too many people are just too angry or enjoy stirring the pot too much or something these days to have real conversations anymore where politics is concerned.

   I remember thinking how proud I was when my friends, an extremely politically, socially, financially, and religiously diverse group as you’ve ever seen, were finally adult enough to sit around and talk politics “like adults”. Unfortunately, even we’ve gotten to the point where we can’t do that publicly anymore. For friendships’ sake we’ve had to ban politics as a topic of discussion from all forms of communication, except one on one. It’s a shame.

3. on November 6, 2006 at 6:21 pm

   Joe said:

   That’s a great post, but your comment is even better.

   I completely share your frustration with the ‘closed-minded, simplistic, bullying’ that comes from blogs and the like of all hues. It just feels as though you can no longer talk rationally about anything political any more. Ignorance, misinformation and gainsaying are the order of the day.

   What worries me most is what you say about your group of friends; while completely understandable, it’s scary that we can no longer hold measured, rational debate about the things that matter. It’s scary because, imho, democracy depends precisely on this sort of debate.

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