May 12th, 2006
Things You Might Overhear At My House
(Note: The denizens of my household are one human, 2 cats, and a puppy. Unless otherwise noted, everything is said pretty much matter-of-factly.)
Don’t chew on my bra.- Have you seen your brother?
- Don’t look at me with that attitude.
- Twizzlers are for people.
- Piddle on the paper, please.
- No, this is the paper where you piddle.
- Bring back that bath mat please.
- Potato chips are for people.
- Please don’t chew on the laundry.
- You have food; you have fresh water; you have a clean litter box; what more do you want?
- I am not a chew toy.
- I can make that face too you know.
- This is where people piddle.
- Please don’t eat that plastic bag.
- Please don’t shed on the clean laundry.
- C’mon, poo-poo for Mama.
- I hope dog spittle is good for my complexion.
- Please don’t chew on the computer.
- Chinese is for people.
- Where are you going with my underwear?
And seriously, until you’ve found yourself trying to teach your puppy to squat to poo in the apartment complex parking lot, you have not truly embarrassed yourself…especially if you have a celebratory party dance for when he actually does the deed.
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on May 12, 2006 at 1:03 pm
Tamara said:
Yay, congrats on the parking lot success!
We talk to the cats all the time. Most frequent admonition (besides “NO” in general): “I am not a piece of furniture [so please don’t jump on my leg, clinging with your claws, stretch your claws into my knee while lounging on me, or otherwise CLAW ME!]!