Does It Take A Villiage?

I was in the grocery store yesterday, waiting in the checkout line and I noticed this little boy of about six to eight years of age. He was kneeling in front of the candy in the checkout line in front of me though his mother was unloading her full cart two lines down. He zipped up his coat, took a Hershey bar and slid it into the neck of his coat. When he stood up, the candy bar slid out the bottom. He immediately reached down, grabbed the bar and tried again.

So, here’s my question: At this point, would you tell the boy’s mother, tell the boy to put the candy bar back, tell a store employee, or ignore it and mind your own business, thinking about the Netflix movie that arrived in your mailbox today?

So, in my case, I talked to the child. I told him that I didn’t think he should be doing that. He responded that he was doing that because his mommy wouldn’t let him have the candy bar. I told him that I didn’t think the store would like for him to have the candy bar for free and that maybe he should go talk to his mommy.

In the end, he skulked back toward his mommy trying to hide the candy bar. Eventually she caught him and ended up buying it.

But I got to thinking that I might just as easily have ignored the little boy all together as it wasn’t my problem really. He was neither my child nor my responsibility and his mother should have kept a better eye on him. It frustrates me to no end when parents let their children wander off in public places where they can be obsconded with by strangers who might do them harm.

And I really didn’t feel much like being a tattletale and telling a store employee.

However, where does one draw the line?

Do you over look an eight year old stealing a candy bar for whatever reason now and then when he’s sixteen do you just not see when he steals a case of beer? What about when he holds up a gas station at 24? What about the 36 year old who steals a car?

When do lessons get taught and is it the sole responsibility of parents and teachers to teach them or do we all share a little bit in the education of the next generation?

I sometimes wonder if maybe what’s wrong with the current generation and maybe the last few is the loss of the villiage mentality where we helped each other share the brunt of the child-rearing and lesson teaching.

Then again, what do I know? Maybe I’ve just been watching too much Little House on the Prarie.

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3 comments

1. on April 9, 2006 at 4:19 pm

   Tamara said:

   I think you did the right thing! I don’t know what I would have done. Truthfully, probably nothing. I guess I might have done what you did, or told the mom. I would not have told the store.

   I am always talking to people in stores, but that one is a tough call!

2. on April 9, 2006 at 6:50 pm

   Big Dog said:

   I admire what you did though I doubt it was part of that village I hear so much about. You have littel responsibility for raising this child but you have some say in things when anyone breaks the law.

   I have been in similar situations and those involved people of all ages. I have either said something to them or, in the case of people who might be dangerous (I don’t want someone going postal in a store) I have reported to security.

   I think you did the right thing but it was in keeping up the laws of the land rather than raising that child. He has now learned that mom is not the only person he needs to hide from when stealing candy. But at least he knows there are other people who watch out for the rule of law.

3. on April 10, 2006 at 7:52 pm

   Christine said:

   My mom was in a card store once and saw a lady stuffing cards into her bag. Mom was really upset, but she was afraid to tell the clerk, because she thought the clerk would tell the lady who told on her. So my mom waited until the lady left the store and then let the clerk know what was going on. The clerk said she wished my mom had said something when the thief was in the store, because they got tons of cards stolen all the time. My mom still regrets not speaking up.

   Yeah, you shouldn’t have to discipline someone else’s kid, but in the real world, it happens. Good for you for not just ignoring the incident. That kid probably didn’t like you too much, but he learned a valuable lesson.

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