Cooked Man Bits
So have you heard the one about the man who asked the convenience store clerk to microwave a penis?
No, seriously. This story stunned everyone I knew over the weekend. I was surprised not to see more internet buzz about it.
If you missed it, the basic gist is that a man and a woman entered a convenience store outside of Pittsburgh last Thursday and asked the clerk if they could use the microwave. The item was wrapped in paper towels and after 20 seconds or so, smelled kind of funny. The clerk openned the microwave and saw what she thought was a severed penis.
The man and woman grabbed their warmed item and ran from the store. The clerk reported the incident to the police and the local news joined the search for both the man with the cooked man bits and the man missing his. However, Friday evening, the woman called in to confess.
Apparently she had been trying to fake out a drug test. They had filled the fake penis with urine and had stopped to use the microwave to get it to body temperature so as not to arrouse suspicion.
N2 still wants to know why a fake penis? How was that going to be undetectible? How was she going to sneak it in?
I want to know why the woman could afford drugs but not a microwave. Also, why did she call and confess to the fraud crime? Couldn’t she have come up with some other prank-type idea for a confession?
Someone at my write-in wanted to know where in the world you get a fake penis. I assume e-bay, but I’m sure there’s a specialty shop out there somewhere. Heck, there’s probably some specialty man bit hot dog seller on the internet.
Well, now that I feel completely mind-boggled and grossed out, I just want to point out that this is probably another reason you should not use a convenience store microwave. I’m just saying.
tags: Pittsburgh news
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on February 27, 2006 at 1:47 pm
Tamara said:
OK, ewwww. That is tres bizarre!