My Dad’s Crazy Brother vs. Me

My dad’s brother was a very successful salesman for a fairly large and well-known company. He made enough to retire in his 40’s. Since then he’s had way too much time on his hands.

I’m starting to see why he was so successful. He certainly doesn’t take “no” for an answer.

About 12 years ago, my uncle planned this big sibling trip to the Grand Canyon. The plan was for my parents, my aunt and her now husband, and my uncle and his wife to stay at the Grand Canyon and do that trip to the bottom and all. It was a big thing, requiring lots of organizing and schedule rearranging.

A week before they were supposed to descend on the Grand Canyon, my uncle cancelled.

Apparently this is just one of a plethora of family events that my uncle has planned and “sold” everyone on and then cancelled at the last minute.

The year my parents moved to New Mexico, my uncle got a bee in his bonnet to have a great Mallory reunion at his house in Texas for Christmas. Mind you, my parents would not even be in their new home a full two months. They wouldn’t even be unpacked. I had already bought my plane ticket to go see them. My uncle started harrassing me via phone and email to change my ticket because if I changed my ticket to come see him, my parents would have to follow.

I think that may have been the last time we talked beyond 5 minutes on holidays and only because my parents called him and made me.

This of course is all part of the reason why I shut myself off from extended family. As you know, I’ve been trying to reconnect…but I’m remembering now why it was that I disconnected in the first place with some of them.

So, my uncle now has this new grand plan for some sort of family reunion in October. He’s even got some funny name for it like “The Quadrentenial Mallory Family Reunion”. He’s managed to acquire my new phone number and email address in this and has started the assault.

Personally, I don’t really care to go to Texas for two days and be around him — I think he’s crazy. However, I also have other plans this year which require lots of money. As it is, I’m working extra all I can to make extra money for the trip to England for PW’s wedding. I am also trying to save for a house. I also plan to go visit my aunt and her grandson this summer for a weekend (and the grandson will likely not be at this reunion) and my friend, the other N, wants to come up and go to Prince Edward Island for a few days. Not to mention that I want to spend Christmas with my parents, who I like to spend time with.

Anyway, my parents have both given their blessing that I not go. My dad doesn’t even want to go, but has been told by my mother that if my uncle pulls it off, he has too.

What I find interesting and annoying are the emails I’ve been getting. According to my uncle, everyone has agreed to go except me; yet, no one I’ve talked to has said they’ve confirmed 100%. Now, somehow he’s learned about my “cooking prowress” (his words not mine) — and not from my mother — so he wants me to cook that weekend for all of those people. I told him that if I go, I will gladly do some of the cooking (his wife cannot cook). I’m sure the next email will announce that I’m the chef for the weekend.

Anyway, apparently, he’s told my aunt that he and his wife and daughter are going to visit them for Easter. He’s told my parents that they’ll be visiting them in May. Neither my aunt nor my mother knew about the other trip. Ironically both said that if he does either of those trips, the October one won’t happen. My aunt in particular is very sceptical about the whole thing.

Mind you, the most memorable Christmas dinner, the last one we all had together, climaxed with my aunt standing up, pointing at my uncle, and her proclaiming that he was the sole reason she was in therapy; even his birth traumatized her.

Anyway…I’m starting to remember why I isolated myself. I’m going to need a lot of prozac to get through this…

tags: dysfunctional family

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