Thank You

It’s been pointed out to me by the folks in my group therapy that I’m not very good at taking compliments.

This is true. I’m never quite sure what to say. On one hand, I’m proudish and happy to be acknowledged, but on the other, it feels a little conceited. Plus, there are just some things I don’t believe when people tell me.

For example, I never can quite believe someone when they tell me I’m pretty or I look nice. Honestly, I’m not fishing for more compliments when I wave it off and blush and say “This old thing?”

I never am sure if people are sincere when they say they like my writing, my art, or my cross-stitch. Though, I do seem to be quite proud of my cooking and baking skills — and yet, I sometimes wonder if that’s not unjustified inflated ego.

I have a real problem accepting a compliment in the work environment. I’m always suspicious of the person’s agenda. This I’m sure goes back at least as far as that awful insane job I had, but I sometimes think I was like that even back when I was a cashier for Winn Dixie.

So, one of the things I’m supposed to work on over the next few weeks is when someone pays me a compliment, I’m supposed to just say “Thank you” and that’s it. I won’t try to explain or defend or question. Then later after the moment has past, I can think about it if I still want to, but the immediate need is to validate that the person paid me a compliment.

And while I’m thanking folks — Thank you for stopping by and making me feel like I’m not just chattering to myself out here in cyberspace.

tags: therapy

2 comments

1. on November 16, 2005 at 3:01 pm

   Tamara said:

   You’re welcome!

   This is a common problem for women. While I struggle with insecurity and oversensitivity, for some reason I have managed to avoid this particular difficulty, but I can understand why you and others feel that way.

   I do have a tendency, when complimented on my clothes or shoes, to brag about what a great deal I got on them (if indeed I did). I guess I want to appear frugal, or at least not extravagant? Heh.

   Speaking of which, Jerry Seinfeld has a bit where he inquires as to why we say “thank you” when someone compliments our clothing. Something about how it’s not as if we made the item (usually) - so we’re really just assuming the person is complimenting our wonderful taste (which I guess is true).

   Yeah, I’m not sure where I was going with that Seinfeld thing, either! But anyway, I wish you a newfound ease in saying “Thank you” to compliments!

2. on November 20, 2005 at 6:40 pm

   Omni said:

   I’m vaguely bothered about compliments about my looks because I try to keep people focused on what matters, which is what’s in my head… after all, if a MAN is saying interesting or clever things, do people respond by telling him how good HE looks?

Leave a comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.