Theraputic Breakthrough & NaNo

Well, I had a little breakthrough in group therapy tonight. I talked about how concerned I was about admitting my own personal mistakes that led to my firing and how I worried about disappointing my parents, particularly my mother. I admitted outloud what it was that I felt I had done that contributed to my firing. Mind you, none of those people are my parents, but just admitting it officially outloud was a relief.

One of the group leaders asked me how it felt to take ownership of my part in the events. While I’ve always said I wasn’t guilt-free, I’ve never accepted that my own personal actions helped lead to my own downfall. It’s a relief to admit this finally, to accept my responsibility in the direction of my life.

Of course, it still remains if I’m going to share my story with my parents and let them discover I wasn’t faultless. I guess since they always took the other person’s side in every disagreement growing up, I had expected them to do the same when I got fired, but they didn’t and I don’t want to lose that. For once, they were completely sympathetic and supportive if a bit pushy.

However, I’ve decided to write the story as I remember it without a purely innocent main character. After all, those things shaped my life and I want to believe I’ve learned my lessons from my experiences.

tags: NaNoWriMo, therapy, writing

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