A Voice Silenced

A few weeks ago, I stumbled upon All the King’s Horses, a blog written by a stop-loss soldier in Iraq. Coincidently, my discovery also coincided with blog publicity from Operation Truth, which named him Vet of the Week, October 13, 2005.

His story in his own words is worth sharing:

I joined the army soon after I finished college; the decision was an amalgamation of desire to serve, to belong, and to repay college debt. I wanted the challenge to see if I really could be all I could be. Our country was a vastly different place then; one in which policemen, firemen, and servicemembers were no different than any other American. I had almost completed my two years of training to become an Arabic linguist when September Eleventh dramatically changed the nation’s climate. I knew my own role would be pivotal, and was eager to see our country avenged on the battlefield.

Until then, I had a rather dim view of the army. Their promise to repay my college loans turned out to be false, and I was left to shoulder the massive burden of debt alone. My dismay melted away in the patriotic euphoria that enveloped the country in the run-up to our invasion of Iraq. Like the rest of the America, I clung fervently to the justifications for it. The underlying righteousness was my source of motivation when we crossed the Kuwait-Iraq border in March of 2003.

In the months that were to follow, those justifications collapsed - and with them, my confidence in a nation. In those days, my colleagues and I would often patrol the streets of Baghdad with the infantry in a bid to quell boredom. We were also looking for hope among the Iraqi people; we could live vicariously through their optimism, and perhaps therein find meaning for our occupation. But hope betrayed us as the insurgency swelled. It was when the fighting began again in earnest that we left Iraq. By the end of August, I was back in The United States, free to pretend Iraq never happened.

But it had. And nothing could wrench the darkest memories from repression like the knowledge that we were to return. Worse, our year in America was wasted. Almost every week, CSPAN would feature one committee or another complaining that our armed forces hadn’t enough servicemembers in critical jobs like intelligence and military police. I wanted them to know how poorly we were thought of in our own units, and how little job-specific training we received before we left. At one point, we were told to study Arabic only on our own time. That was hardly possible when we were kept late every night, sometimes doing only menial tasks like weapons-cleaning until three in the morning.

The last straw was “stop loss”. My enlistment contract ended in March of this year. It is seven months hence, and I am still in Iraq. I propose that, in order for me to respect my commitment, the army ought to respect the contract we agreed upon. It was for five years, not six. Proponents of this form of conscription argue that I signed it nonetheless, fully aware of possible outcomes. True, I ought to have prepared myself better. But to remain bound to an expired commitment - exposed to prolonged peril in support of an unjustifiable cause - was beyond my expectations.

Today, I find the greatest challenge of the army is to find honor in service. I don’t ever regret having joined because I’ve learned so much about myself and about America. I have faith in both, but yearn for hope to become reality. I want to go home as badly as I want to be proud of my country again. [“All the King’s Horses”]

At the time, while I did link to him, I worried for him because he was using his real name online; I was afraid there might be repercussions from over his head.

I’m sad to report I was right to worry.

He went silent for a bit and I worried more. What can I say? I’m a natural born worrier. I worry about lots of people I only know from online so imagine how much I worry for people I’ve known in person for years.

Anyway, his latest post with it’s foreshadowing Orwellian title “Double Plus Ungood” is a sign that his individual voice has been silenced.

I thank all of you who have been so supportive recently. I have never before received so much positive feedback, and it was very heart-warming to know that so many people out there care. Having said that, it breaks my heart to say that this will be my last post on this blog. I wish I could just stop there, but I can not. The following also needs to be said:

For the record, I am officially a supporter of the administration and of her policies. I am a proponent for the war against terror and I believe in the mission in Iraq. I understand my role in that mission, and I accept it. I understand that I signed the contract which makes stop loss legal, and I retract any statements I made in the past that contradict this one. Furthermore, I have the utmost confidence in the leadership of my chain of command, including (but not limited to) the president George Bush and the honorable secretary of defense Rumsfeld. If I have ever written anything on this site or on others that lead the reader to believe otherwise, please consider this a full and complete retraction.

I apologize for any misunderstandings that might understandably arise from this. Should you continue to have questions, please feel free to contact me through e-mail. I promise to respond personally to each, but it may take some time; my internet access has become restricted. [“All the King’s Horses”]

Daniel was very careful not to reveal classified information. He didn’t post pictures of Iraqi abuse. He did express his frustration with being a stop-loss soldier and with struggling to find honor in his duty.

I find it incredibly sad that the government saw him and his words as so much of a threat that they felt the need to not only silence him but obviously force him to recant everything he’s said and declare his loyalty not just to the military but to the President himself and Rumsfield.

The Orwellian title is not just a nice touch it’s a clue for all of us who were reading him to know that Winston Smith has been found out by The Party and supressed. Heck not only is he not allowed to post anymore but he implies his email will be read and his access is now restricted — punishment for having an opinion of his own and for expressing it.

And how far are we from a nation where ThoughtPolice really do exist? How far away are we from government-controlled media that broadcasts government-controlled truths? How far away are we from those of us who have voices in the blogosphere that question everything, that don’t always agree with those in power (even those in our own “party”), that express ourselves — how far away are we from being supressed and controlled ourselves?

tags: American soldiers, Conspiracy Theories, blogs

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