Life Going On

So, the good news is that PW does not have breast cancer. Talk about breathing a sigh of relief. She was so relieved that she didn’t mind at all that the x-rays showed she has a kidney stone, which explains the pain in her side. :crazy:

I’m glad she’s o.k.

###So, I can’t recall if I mentioned it. I saw the doctor last week. The flu/cold I had cleared up immediately after I made the appointment, of course. However, I had to go in for a Depo shot and med check anyway and I wanted to talk to her about some issues I’ve been having with my GI tract — painfully bloaty and gassy with weeks of constipation rotating in and out. Ug.

Well, first off, I walked the mile to the appointment and my blood pressure was only 110/72! She said that if I lose some more weight (I’ve only lost 5 lbs since January 16th) and keep my blood pressure down, I maybe can come of the BP med in June. Good news there.

Plus, I talked to her about cutting back on the ambien. I now don’t take it every night but only as needed like the night after a bad night. Less pills is always good.

Unfortunately, after a discussion with the shrink and the GP, it was decided to double my prosac for the time being. The GP thinks I may suffer from that seasonal disorder and wants to try cutting the prosac back again in June and then look into light therapy next Winter. Honestly, maybe that whole sun thing is a factor. I know I hate driving home in the dark. It just feels so wearing and this last month with the snow storms in March, I’ve been tired of the weather and really ready for Spring or mud season as they call it.

So, for now, I need to keep watching my food and start trying to get some exercise in and try to find ways to meet people and hopefully get through my annual review on Wed. :crazy:

###My 34th birthday was something of a non-event. I got flowers from my parents on Friday as well as birthday cards from them and one grandmother. (Oh, and two e-cards from online friends and acquaintenances.) However, that’s all I got. I didn’t go anywhere or do anything different. It was kind of sad really.

I mean, I’m not much of a birthday person, but it was kind of a precursor to my life once my parents and grandparents pass on. It was a little lonely, I admit. I felt forgotten really, though two ex-boyfriends emailed me. None of my “good” friends recognized or remembered the day. PW had called me earlier in the week on the wrong day to wish me a happy one so I guess she’s excused. Still a part of me hoped for something more. It’s really a reminder that everyone is moving on with their lives and I’m so far away that I need to let go and work harder to make new friends.

Heck, I’m so lonely, I even discussed dating in therapy. I’ve given up on dating really. I can’t find anyone who is independent and has a life of their own and yet wants to share moments with me. Everyone I’ve dated seems to need that constant attention/companionship thing that sends me running for my independence.

It’s really silly to be thinking about it. If I can’t meet new friends, where am I going to meet people to date?

tags: breast cancer, Depo Provera, blood pressure, Prozac, birthday

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