That Magic Feeling

I remember when I was a kid feeling so excited about Christmas that I was literally bouncing off the walls on Christmas Eve. I couldn’t wait to go to sleep so I could wake up on Christmas Day and yet I was so excited I couldn’t sleep. I remember staying up late to watch the news so I could watch them track Santa and his reindeer. I remember carefully selecting cookies and setting out milk on the end of the fireplace so Santa would have a treat when he arrived.

I remember waking up and scrambling to the living room to see that Christmas tree in all it’s glory surrounded by more boxes than I had even imagined the day before.

I mostly remember the excitement, the happiness, the joy. When I close my eyes, I can almost picture it, almost imagine I’m there again. Mostly, these days, I feel like we’re all just kind of going through the motions. It’s become all about the presents and the food and the sales.

I don’t really know when that magic feeling disappeared but as much as I love Christmas, the magical feeling of excitement so great that I can hardly sit still has been absent. Maybe it was when I stopped dreading sweaters and started hoping they were someone in there. Maybe it was when the number of gifts dwindled — grown-ups don’t get quite as many gifts. Maybe it was when I moved out of the family home or maybe it was when my parents moved out of my childhood home. Maybe it was when I stopped believing in Santa and the Toothfairy and the Easter Bunny.

Whatever it is, Christmas hasn’t been quite so magical in a long time. I guess I’m just feeling nostalgic about what will never be again.

Anyway, I hope whoever you are and wherever you are that you have a happy holiday season.

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One comment

1. on December 26, 2004 at 11:07 pm

   msfabian1 said:

   I just wanted to let you know, I used to feel this way too. And then I had a child. (Now, I know, remaining childless is a very valid choice, but this is just my experience…)

   Once I had my own kid, Christmas became magical again. Only now, YOU make the magic. And then, to see THAT expression on the face of someone you love so dearly, well, it makes the holidays perhaps even more special than when you were a kid.

   If you don’t have any kids (and I know you don’t) try to have this experience with someone else’s kids. Just being around kids at the holidays make them way more magical. (Assuming you even like kids, LOL.

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